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College football is here. Make no doubt about it. We’re in the home stretch now. We’re looking at high temps in the upper 60s and lower 70s. It’s time to open up your arsenal on gameday. Throw it deep. Huck it and chuck it. Post-college gameday attire calls for the trusty Gameday Polo. Classic, refined apparel for the athlete in you. Look good, play good.
Don’t go all crazy on me and buy a dark gray polo with the team logo on it when you know damn well gray isn’t one of your school’s colors. Let your flag fly on gameday. Your school has two or three main colors. Choose from those. Mix and match. Be a pro. You are a small, yet vital part of the beautiful living vignette on campus on gameday. Keep it simple. Wave your banner. I see your true colors, and that’s why I love you. So don’t be afraid to let them show. Your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow.
Gotta have two. Gotta. You can’t be the schlub wearing the same gameday polo every Saturday. Great way to make everyone think you’re a casual fan. By the time you turn 30, your closet should be overflowing with Dri-Fits and Performance Tech. Mix it up. Under Armour, Nike, Adidas, Antigua, Tommy Bahama (ooh, I like that. Always room for a Hawaiian). I’ll say this once, and only once: Don’t go crazy on the PFGs. Those shirts fuck and if you turn into the guy who wears one every gameday, I pity you. The Texas Tailgate Special of PFG, stranglers and boots is a real power play that should be reserved for big time games only and if you come out of the gate wearing one against Bowling Green, you played yourself.
You’re free to make a call here. I’m out of the tuck game completely. No, no. It’s not because I have a gut. I love my gut (#bodyacceptance – try it). I love the casual look of an untucked gameday polo with some good shorts and a solid pair of sneakers or loafers. Boss as hell. Tucked in? Man, you better have a solid core or else you’re gonna look like you got Dunlop disease (where your belly done lopped over your belt buckle). Play this one safe. If you’ve racked up the Papa John’s points this summer, maybe go the casual route. Don’t feel pressured by society. I’m in your corner here. Tuck or don’t. There is no rule here.
TOFTB? No. SOFTG. Do a million upright rows and shoulder presses before each gameday and make the sunlight dance off your broad, masculine shoulders. You’re wearing official gameday gear, you can’t look like some noodle armed coward on gameday. Football is a game of men for dudes invented by guys and your attire should look like you can stroll onto the field during warmups and start tossing 15-yard outs to the second teamers. Get a polo that’s tight across the shoulders and upper arms, draping them ever so tenderly. Like moisture-wicking tapestries. Make sure the sleeves aren’t too short either. Short sleeves were hot circa 2002, but now, you gotta keep those pythons shrouded, but just shrouded enough to still show a little definition off. Mystery. Intrigue. Gains.
Pain heals. Chicks dig deltoids. Glory lasts forever. .