The old “wake up every 20 minutes and move your mouse so your Gchat button stays green” move.
Shower? Yeah right.
Pants? Same deal.
TV volume: Less than 10, more than 5.
Golf Channel, Fox Business. Rinse. Repeat.
Schedule a meeting with your boss for next week to make yourself look busy.
Call someone at the office to say you’re “Just checking in.”
“Jim, I’m out of the office today. Let me get back to you on that tomorrow. Maybe next week.”
Casually ask for clarification on your company’s PTO policy after being crushed with self-imposed guilt around 10:30.
“Alexa, order a large meat lover’s and a dozen wings. Extra ranch.”
Consume all of it.
Well, JO, then nap.
Zone out during a conference call and just agree with everything everyone says.
Mute your phone to say “XBox, on.”
Flawlessly give leadership a project status update on a conference call while killing British teenagers on XBox Live.
Lay a bet on a Turkish soccer match.
Call it a day around 3 pm.
Officewide email: “I’m out for the rest of the day to meet with a client. I will not be available until tomorrow morning.”
Hit the bar. .