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Some people I know were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Others received a plastic one. Me? I’m somewhere in the middle. Lately, I’ve spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. I’ve wondered why couldn’t I have been born lucky, and thought that if I had all these advantages, I’d be X, Y or Z. I’ve contemplated enough what-ifs to make you headbutt oncoming traffic. Truthfully, it’s not fair, but you know what isn’t fair? Life. That’s why you gotta make your own magic.
It used to bug me a lot more. Many of my fraternity brother’s families were quite well off. College was a vacation for them before the real world; a time to make connections and take those trips to the Caribbean during spring break. They never cared if they got shitty grades because they could repeat it next semester. I dreaded most breaks because I knew I’d be doing shit work at my part-time job. Many of my friends never had to worry about dues, where their tuition money was coming from or how fucked they were six months after graduation, as mommy and daddy had a cushy job at the company awaiting them and their bullshit degree.
I think everyone eventually comes to the “life’s not fair” realization; it’s part of the maturation process to adulthood. Life being unfair is nothing new to me, but I worked hard, did well in college, participated in clubs and volunteered. I never thought life would be as hard as it is. It was and is ignorance and in this case, it was best to find out the hard way. Accepting that life isn’t fair is the first step in becoming a self-aware adult and damn is it a long road.
The nice part is, now with piece of paper in hand, you can carve out a niche for yourself. Those nights staying up studying (never had one until grad school), projects with idiots that never did anything and weight gain from binge drinking and eating wing buffets will eventually pay off. Really, the only thing your diploma does is get you your first job. Everything else after that is on you. It’s the metaphorical first plank in the bridge you build to a better life. Sure, there are tons of people that get by, do well and will make more money than me without a degree, but that certainly is an exception rather than the rule.
One of the best pieces of advice given to me was “make yourself useful.” My old boss/good friend Andrew taught me the importance to become invaluable and it is quite true. Recently, my unit lost funding so I had to find a new job. The new job is not something I enjoy (and came with a slight pay decrease), but there was opportunity, namely antiquated technology and excessive red tape. I knew how to automate their survey intakes so that they did not need to hire students to do data analysis. It saved time and money and made everyone look good.
The reason I mention this is because there are opportunities to make a shit situation better. Reviews of the program went from 55% positive to 90% positive. I went back through all the evaluations, noticed a trend and fixed it. Now I’m applying for other jobs and my boss is trying to pay me more to keep me from leaving. I even get a few cool notes on my resume. Once you do something like that, it’s there forever.
A lot of life boils down to what you want out of it. “There’s always a bigger fish” will always be true; there will always be someone bigger, faster, smarter, better looking, luckier, whatever. Work on things that you can, identify what you want and do something each day towards that goal. They can be big or small, but as long as you’re moving in the right direction, you’re making your own magic..
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Madoff
I specialize in damage control, being the drunkest at any and all functions and social assassination. Always appreciate a strong gif game. Follow me on Twitter. Sometimes I put up cool stuff about golfing at the local dirt tracks.
@BLMInvestment
Solid post. Successful people use more successful people as an inspiration and motivation. Unsuccessful people use more successful people as an excuse. Write that down.
“Write this down – A good salesman goes after Moby Dick in a rowboat, and brings the tartar sauce with him.”
Write this down
“For a good time call Becky. 556-565-5545”
-Bathroom stall
Write this down: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t drink” – Drunk Wayne Gretzky
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. – Wayne Gretzky” – Michael Scott.
I copy/pasted it, does that count?
There will always be someone bigger, faster, smarter, better looking, luckier. #PGP
I think it’s okay to have days here and there where you feel frustrated/feel sorry for yourself. As long as you pull yourself together and keep moving forward. Definitely needed to read this today.
Agreed. Failed my Series 66 exam yesterday (no idea how, I was slated for success) so I’m bound to my hometown for another month while studying for it (I get one last attempt), instead of shipping off to HQ with the rest of my class in a couple weeks. All this with my gf dumping me a week prior which I’m sure didn’t help my focus.
Point being, life is going to suck sometimes, but obstacles are what makes life interesting and strengthen us for the future. Just gotta put on your pants every morning and keep on swimming…
Hey DJ, with some concentrated studying and practice exams (seriously, I passed just reading the book once and then continually doing Kaplan practice exams), you will pass. I’ll put in a good word with my friend Series 66 for you. Also- who breaks up with someone 2 weeks before Christmas and a week before a FINRA exam??! That’s some rude behavior right there.
Yeah my firm uses STC and I did the study program the firm made for us. Did reasonably well on practice exams which had me passing. Never did so bad on any practice test as I did on the actual, by a long shot. No idea what happened, but now I have a month to review again and pass.
Breaking up with someone before the holidays is odd in itself, but especially since the person you supposedly cared about for the last 2.5 years is going through major stress with must-pass exams in a new career. Pretty selfish in my opinion.
Hey man, I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about but sending you love and hoping you pass the next time around. You got this.
Thanks brutha. There’s always a light; sometimes you need shades, sometimes you need binoculars.
Caught off guard by the motivational PGP article. I like it. When I made this username I was a gov employee, split for an ibank, now at a hedgie. Create your own luck.
Congrats on making it out.
^Name checks out
This is a good post. This post really has the certain whiff to have it apply to people graduating with the “special snowflake” mentality as if they’ll get that $60K/year gig. This also struck the heart with my job situation now. Keep on keepin’, Madoff.
The $60k/year job with a degree in art living in a loft downtown. That’s doable, right?
Goldman Sachs job with your Art History degree from Princeton.
roasted
I can tell yah getting that $60K gig or the next one or the next one after that won’t alleviate the feeling of having been dealt a bad hand. There’s always going to be somebody from high school or college who you feel is one-upping you in success despite not having (in your opinion) put in the same effort. Not that I manage it everyday, but I’m trying to stop keeping up with the Joneses and just do what makes me happy.
A great lesson to learn is, “Be happy with what you have or you’ll never be happy.”
This is my life crisis.
The social media rule: don’t compare someone’s highlight package to your blooper reel!
60k is pretty solid for 20 somethings, especially if they had an art history degree (which I’d expect closer to zero k).
I left Job 1 for the above-mentioned prize and would go back in a heartbeat if it wouldn’t hurt the people that helped get me here. Trying to decide if that makes me a special snowflake. PGP
You just have to be thankful for the opportunities that are presented to you. I work fifty hours a week at a shitty manual labor job while I go to school, and am damn grateful for the opportunity to be able to provide for my family while working towards a degree. It’s all about perspective man.
Great piece as always. Comparing yourself to anyone in general (which is so easy to do nowadays with social media), is a one way ticket to disaster. Everyone is fighting sort of fight, whether you see it or not.
As someone once told me, the only person you should compare yourself to is yourself yesterday.
Great post. This is exactly why I went to nursing school. I wanted a set of useful skills in a career setting where I would always be needed. There are a lot of sick people and a lot of people who do stupid things that allow me to have a stable, decently paying career.
Great read, though admittedly, I’m going to have to reread this on Tuesday, January 3rd. I know myself well enough to realize that reading stuff like this right now will do me absolutely no good considering I’m working just 4.5 out of the next 13 calendar days
Great article Madoff. I graduated college at the worst possible time, in the midst of the 2008 recession, NO ONE was hiring. I started out working crappy 30k/year jobs out of college. I kept working hard and hustled my way to better jobs. I now make mid six figures working for an oil company, in a down oil economy. I survived several rounds of layoffs and things are looking better next year. I truly believe you create your own luck/opportunities.