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There’s no stimulant as ingrained in American culture, especially in its national pastime, like good old smokeless tobacco. I haven’t touched it since my playing days ended, but if it weren’t for a hearty chunk of Red Man sitting in my cheek I don’t think I could’ve made it through five years of college baseball practices in the West Texas heat.
If you work in the South, there’s a good chance that a guy somewhere in your office is packing his tin as we speak to get him through the workday. However, this habit has become a bit more frowned upon of late, as evidenced by Major League Baseball’s hot new ban on the products.
From Sports Illustrated
A person familiar with the negotiations says Major League Baseball and its players’ union agreed to ban smokeless tobacco for all new big leaguers.
Think about that dude you work with in the corner office who you see constantly plugging away at his sales reports while enjoying a nice pinch of Copenhagen. Now imagine what would happen to the productivity of that poor bastard if the CEO handed down a hard ban on his stimulant vice. This ban is like that, but 90% of a workforce.
Now it’s easy to see the reasoning of MLB here, as in the past few years they’ve lost legend Tony Gwynn to mouth cancer and have taken heat for the example their dip-spitting players set for kids. However, this smells of mostly a PR move, as a ban has been in place for Minor League Baseball for years yet still is commonplace on the field and in clubhouses.
Fortunately for any partakers of smokeless tobacco already enjoying life in the show, they’re exempt from the new law of the land. The ban doesn’t apply to any player who already has at least one day of major league service.
Don’t worry, we don’t have to fret about Madison Bumgarner pitching without his tobacco fix. Pour one out, though, for any rookies needing a pinch. Hope you don’t get the shakes out there..
[via Sports Illustrated]
Image via YouTube
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Kyle Bandujo
The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.
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Just smothered continued step in the pussification of America. This nation is turning into a bigger cuck than Defries.
Take it easy, buddy.
Or maybe they just don’t want their players to die? Calm tf down dude
I’m sure they’ll all just put in small pinches towards the back. I do it at work every single day and no coworkers or clients have ever noticed.
congrats on the buzz
Nice
So I know one company has encouraged coffee pouches and some players use them. How can the league tell the difference when they’re on the mound? Are they gonna check?
But can you throw a big ol dip in while you’re “working”?
I don’t chew but I’ve seen those coffee things and I wanna try them. They just seem genuinely interesting and seem like they might give you a decent caffeine buzz.
I’ve tried them and they are pretty great actually.
Grinds are excellent – I use them during hockey games – mocha is the best flavor..hands down
I just got my first shipment of Grinds after trying to kick the habit. If you like coffee, you’ll like these. Its nice to use them at your desk because there is no need to have a spitter
I bet I could get my mom to purchase me a lifetime supply.
Sucks to see. I know I couldn’t have survived the pressures of co-ed intramural softball without a nice lipper.
Now they’re going to vape in the dugout…
Break out the Big League Chew!
I’m an outlier in that I didn’t dip with any real regularity until law school, at which time I discovered I could conquer the world with a blend of adderal and a fat lip.
Hipsters who are into baseball just lost their shit
Good
all 3 of them
But what if baseball becomes so antiquated that hipsters start liking it?! Holy shit that gives me some next level scaries!
I quit chewing a year out of college and this article really makes me want to pack one in.
All the oil drillers I work with in the field pack massive chaws. Best part of work trips out there.