======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
BBQ season is a beautiful time of the year. The beer is cold, the meats are smoked, and the living is easy. Perhaps the best day of the year to roast some burgers is Independence Day. The 4th is easily one of my favorite days of the year, primarily because it revolves around me watching people gorge themselves on hotdogs until I do the same later in the day – with some added light lagers and potato salad. One of the most important parts of having a proper cookout are the seating options. You want a seat that’s comfortable enough to spend at least half a day on with enough built-in entertainment options nearby to keep you occupied. But finding seating options on the 4th at a BBQ can be brutal knowing attendance is typically going to be high while table turnover rate will be low. Assuming all of the standard plastic chair seating options on the patio are taken, here is my ranking of the top five alternatives.
5. Retaining Wall
Maybe this is specific to my BBQing experiences, but sitting on the retaining wall on a back patio is never the best choice, but it can be a necessary one if all of the traditional chairs are taken. While it lacks in back support and general comfort, it does give you ample room for multiple plates and beers as you slowly spread your plastic plate empire horizontally. Added bonus is you can conveniently turn your back from the annoying aunt who had too much sangria and sun.
4. The Kids’ Table
Hear me out on this. Yes, the kids’ table can often be wild and unpredictable, but eating with your younger cousins also has some good benefits. For starters, this place is a judgement free zone. No one will care if you eat sloppily or spill your drink over the table. It’s borderline expected. Plus, the type of unabashed joy and optimism that kids bring could serve as a solid pick-me-up if you’re entering an afternoon lull. And when you’re done with the meal or ready to take a nap, cutting off the conversation with a kid usually doesn’t require a big explanation or fabrication like it would if you were sitting amongst the adults.
3. Lawn Chair
Lawn chairs are a great option here due to their versatility. Not only are they easily transportable, but they also offer the perk of additional storage and built-in cupholders, which gives you more room to stuff your face with hotdogs and that weirdly sweet dessert your grandma makes every July 4th. Plus, plopping yourself in a nice, cushioned lawn chair with back support works well regardless of if you’re sitting on grass or a brick patio. This gives you added flexibility if you get called to play bags or join a different table. Your chair just moves with you.
2. Recliner Inside the House
At my house, choosing this seating option usually got me scolded by my Mom, but it was always worth it. While the sun and friendly conversations are always nice, the cold embrace of air conditioning and afternoon baseball beckons, making your favorite recliner an ideal option for taking a respite from the outdoor festivities. Few things are more enjoyable than shutting the patio door on a noisy backyard in pursuit of a leisurely afternoon cat nap to sleep off your food baby. Add in a nice beer and a slight recline, and I’ll be sleeping soundly in no time. Plus, it leaves you recharged for the hours to come.
1. *Standing* Next to the Grill
Sitting and lounging at a BBQ is great and all, but there are few things better than being in the midst of the grilling action. Being the grill master’s right-hand man has a myriad of benefits. You get to critique the meat choice, question cook times, and scavenge for meat scraps unceremoniously discarded from the designated meat plate. Plus, being that close to the cook gives you a presumed first choice of the meats at-hand. It’s not overly comfortable, but it sure as hell beats going elbow to elbow with overly-aggressive table eaters. You’ll learn to live with eating and standing. Plus, the blistering smoke from the Kenmore practically makes you sweat red, white and blue – hard to get more patriotic than that. Cheers!.
Respond
@TaylorLaabs
@taylor1laabs
Inflatable swan in swimming pool because i’m a basic bitch
If you’re going to pull this move, you better be hot.
Well i’m a dude, but I am hot
Sup?
Hey he never said a hot chick, it’s 2018, loveislove.
yikes
Actually a good take, sir
Not a good take, sir.
People who don’t know the difference between a bbq and a cookout lose all authority on the topic, this is a hill I will die on.
Seriously, my biggest pet peeve. Cooking burgers on the grill isn’t a damn bbq, it’s “cooking out” or “grilling”
I’m glad you said this. You tell me to come to your barbecue that food should have been cooking for at least 6-8 hours by the time i get there.
Counterpoint, use a kamado and start smoking up some barbecue first thing in the morning so it’s ready when guests come over, then fling open the vents and grill some burgers and sear some steaks.
*1. Hammock
Are you BBQing or are you grilling burgers and dogs?
This. BBQing and grilling are not synonymous.
A recliner inside the house while others are grilling outside on the 4th of July just sounds un-American.
Take away baseball, and this is a very Todd from wedding crashers move.
1. My face
That’s a risky numero uno as you run the risk of turning into a back-seat griller. Everyone hates that guy.
The guy standing next to the grill’s jobs are simple yet important: make sure the grill master has the requisite meat ready to go, help unload the cooked meat, compliment the grill master’s work, and – most importantly – keep a beer cold for the grill master at all times. Stick to that and you’re golden.
seat on a pontoon boat? glaring omission, imo
Diaper style on the life vest in the water heckling the captain of said pontoon to throw you beers
This is my first time in 6 years I won’t be on a pontoon for the 4th and this comment just made me even more sad
Fourth of July is the best holiday. Suck it, inferior countries (all other countries).
“Roast a burger”? like in an oven? that sounds decidedly un-American…