If you haven’t read upwards of 25 articles on “10 Ways Meal Prepping Saved My Life” or “8 Ways to Meal Prep Yourself to Financial Freedom,” congratulations because you have successfully avoided the internet.
It seems to me, among the dozens of other ways I am not living my best young professional life, the internet (Buzzfeed) believes that because I don’t meal prep, I am essentially setting fire to my savings account and unknowingly getting fat from packaged snacks. Okay, shaming me may not be the explicit intent of this prose, and rather may aim to be helpful and informative – but still I feel personally victimized.
I don’t pack my lunch, I have never meal prepped, and I am consistently baffled by the entire Instagram obsession with transferring sliced turkey from one package to five different packages and photographing it.
Side note – if I have to see one more collage of photos including but not limited to colorful Tupperware filled with chicken breasts, zucchini noodles, and “make-ahead” vegetarian lasagna I will lose it. DO NOT even begin to get me started on overnight oats or Mason jar salads. The only thing I’m soaking overnight is my liver in vodka – I’m not proud of it but it’s the damn truth.
If you are one of these unicorn meal preppers, please help me understand. Where do you find the time or motivation to meal prep on a weekly basis, does food that is not corned beef really taste good from a crockpot, and how on God’s green earth do you not forget your lunch in the fridge four out of five mornings a week? If I had a pre-made salad for every time I have left a packed lunch to mold in my kitchen – I’d have at least 20 pre-made salads (like I said, I don’t pack my lunch very often).
Last week my coworker tried to convince me to meal prep not the night before, but a week in advance. “Don’t be silly!” She practically screamed through instant messenger, and proceeded to send me no less than 4 links on “Sunday Meal Prepping for the Busy YOPRO.”
First things first; no. I refuse to spend half of my Sunday shopping for a week’s worth of food, cooking it all, and then deciding that I don’t, in fact, want soggy brussels sprouts and spaghetti marinara five days in a row. This is simply a waste of food.
Additionally, who has that much Tupperware?!?! When I moved into my new apartment 8 months ago I ordered a box of Tupperware from Amazon and let me tell you, I lost that shit in 3 weeks. I left one at my friend’s house when we used it to make Jell-O shots, threw two away because they were moldy, ruined one because I made sangria in it and I think it is now highly flammable, and the last one is currently a candle holder.
Don’t get me wrong, the fact that meal prepping is a money saver and may lead to healthier weekday choices is not lost on me. It simply is not even close to being one of my priorities, and if that is another reason I’m a trash millennial post-grad, I’ll take it.
Maybe my aversion to roasting two pounds of cauliflower on the weekend instead of nursing a valiantly earned hangover makes me poorer than my 22 year old office mate Cindy who enjoys Pinterest and setting me up on blind dates, but I can promise you this: I will never poison your Instagram feed with a picture of 5 baked sweet potatoes in a row and that should count for something..
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