I’m Beyond Jealous Of That Dude Who Got His Ass Dragged Off The United Flight

I'm Beyond Jealous Of That Dude Who Got His Ass Dragged Off The United Flight

If you got on Twitter this morning, you probably saw the outrage over a passenger on a United Airlines flight being dragged off due to overbooking.

From The Washington Post:

United Airlines says a man wouldn’t give up his spot on an overbooked flight Sunday.

So, according to witnesses and videos of the incident, he was pulled screaming from his seat by security, knocked against an arm rest and dragged down the aisle and back to the terminal at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport.

So United overbooked, no one wanted to leave in exchange for a flight voucher, so they chose a passenger at random. Said dude wasn’t having it, and security dragged his ass off after roughing him up.

AKA, this dude is the luckiest motherfucker on the god damn planet.

Why, tell me sweet baby Jesus, why did this not happen to me in any of the times I’ve flown. I’ve been on at least 50-60 flights in my life and never once has a gift come down from the gods of airline officials fucking me up and dragging me off the plane. Embarrassing and cruel? Yes. Best thing that ever happened to him? Also yes.

This #blessed dude may have lost the fight but he won the war. United is going to be paying this lucky SOB a settlement until the day he dies. In the video you can see him being dragged down the aisle motionless and shocked, likely because he just realized he became a multi-millionaire in the span of five minutes. Retirement is as easy as sitting in seat 17B.

Next time I hop on a flight, whether it be family vacation or the wedding & bachelor parties I have to attend this summer, I’m begging the airline staff: please beat the fuck out of me and drag me off that plane. If you overbook, walk right over to me and bust my lip then lift me out of there like a rag doll, so I can then do what this dude is doing and head to a lawyer’s office and file my retirement papers.

Some people have all the luck.

[via The Washington Post]

Listen to the Touching Base guys break down this entire fiasco and more on this week’s episode which you can find on iTunes and SoundCloud.

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.

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