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There’s nothing better than waking up in the morning next to someone you love, or for some, just somebody at all. Regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not, there is one aspect of having a girl sleep over that most men have undoubtedly experienced: the unrealistic attempt to sleep while in the spooning position.
The girl you’re with curls up into your arms and is more comfortable than she has ever been. Meanwhile, you’re left with one arm lovingly wrapped around her, and another arm either awkwardly trying to go up and around her head, or under her full body weight. As uncomfortable as the roundabout arm strategy may be, it pales in comparison to the under-body move. In past relationships, my arm has gotten significantly more sleep than me over the course of the night, and I don’t look forward to it happening again in the future. So how can men worldwide like myself combat this issue? I’ve included some approaches below, and they all open up conversations of varying danger.
Ask to Change Sleeping Positions (Aggressively) – NO
“We’re not sleeping like this anymore, I hate it.” Bold. Powerful. Suicide mission — All are terms that could be used to describe this strategy. As anyone in a relationship knows, going into conversation aggressively is sure to either (A) cause trouble either immediately or (B) serve as a last-ditch tactic by your girlfriend three months down the road when you’re dominating her in an argument. I cannot emphasize enough how much I do not recommend going down this path. Even if it’s just with a random one-night stand, be a gentleman and either suck it up or try the next option:
Ask to Change Sleeping Positions (Passively) – Usually
“Hey, I love cuddling with you, but sometimes it makes it hard to sleep. We can spoon all you want, but can we change positions when we’re actually going to bed?” This strategy offers a fair compromise that any sane woman should accept without issue. In most situations, this is a civil and mature way to go about combating the predicament you find yourself in every night at bedtime. If, however, the lucky lady you happen to be with denies your request, chances are there will be far more problems in the future — just get out now.
Ask To Be the Little Spoon and Pray She Says Yes – My Favorite Option
At last, we’ve arrived. The option that was the catalyst for this entire column. A move I have pulled on many occasions, and not just because I’m needy and thrive on human contact.
“Hey, do you mind if we swap places for a little bit?”
Any preconceived notions you have about not being able to be the little spoon should be thrown out immediately. I mean, come on — it’s 2016 and gender equality, just like high-waisted denim, is in. Getting bogged down in whether or not it’s manly or not is a waste of your time. Just ask, you won’t regret it.
If you can’t tell already, I’m a major fan of being the little spoon. Granted, not all the time, but sometimes it’s just what a guy
wants. No. It’s what a guy needs.
For those of you who are skeptical about this, just do me a favor and try it. Those of you in relationships or who are married definitely know what I’m talking about. Hell, women everywhere should be able to understand where I’m coming from. The little spoon rocks, and for too long it has been a position mainly deferred to the opposite sex.
Have another strategy? Share it in the comments below..