Weddings are ok as guests, but honestly, I can probably think of about fifty other things I would rather do with my Saturday evening. You have to buy an expensive gift to at least cover the cost of your entree, make small talk at a table full of people you barely know during an hour-long dinner, hope your date doesn’t panic at the thought of lifelong commitment and dump you after, and endure half-hour waits at the bar for a glass of $6 Chardonnay.
All in all though, you know what to expect, and if having to do the cha-cha slide after bottomless well vodka is the price it takes to get laid, you’ll pay it. However, for some very unfortunate guests at Barry Billcliff’s wedding, things were much, much worse than using your last paid vacation day to travel out of town for a destination wedding.
Barry, likely inspired by Pinterest trends, decided to have a drone fly overhead during his wedding to capture mid-air photographs of him and his lovely bride-to-be. It sounds like a great idea – you get amazing, one-of-a-kind aerial photographs, and you don’t drop the cost of a mid-2000s sedan on a bridal photographer. Things were going great – that is, until the drone went rogue and began terrorizing the guests. This tech-savvy wedding went very, very wrong when the drone began crashing into guests and violently injuring them. Guest Kneena Ellis needed 20 stitches in her forehead after the drone sliced open her head, and Kelly Eaton, on top of gaining a concussion, is now suffering from a broken nose and orbital bone.
Unfortunately for the groom, Ellis and Eaton are suing, leaving Barry full of regret for adding them to the guest list and trying to skimp on that photography budget. With a negligence suit coming his way, I’m sad to report that I expect Barry is beginning his married life already sleeping on the couch. Future wedding guests, take note – if you see a drone photographing the wedding, it’s time to call it a night. Well, either that, or hope you’ll be one of the lucky ones to get hit – I’m not saying I want to get attacked by a drone, but if I did, well, I could certainly start paying down some of my student loans after winning a lawsuit..
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