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The following is a group chat between Carly and her friends the day after the date.
Lauren [11:18am]: What’s the plan tonight party people? *several confetti emojis*
Carly [11:20am]: Uuugh it’s not even noon. I’m just trying to get through this hungover Friday without anyone calling me out on wearing the same clothes as last night.
Britt [11:21am]: Wait, last night’s clothes? You think you’re going to sneak that in there and not talk about it? Sooo I guess the date went well *wink emoji, eggplant emoji*
Michelle [11:21am]: lol slut.
Carly [11:24am]: @michelle WOW ruuuude. But also not untrue. I may have spent the night at that guys house last night *monkey covering its mouth emoji*
Lauren [11:27am]: DETAILS NOW. How’d it go? (besides obviously well enough). What’s he like? Cute? Nice? Douchey? Spill, work is so boring today.
Carly [11:32am]: Haha fiiine. So basically, it went well. He was super nervous at first and like shook my hand which was weird but it was kinda cute? But we had a few margs. On top of the two glasses of wine I had before lol. So it’s kinda blurry but he loosened up and it ended up being a pretty good time.
Michelle [11:33am]: So like, what does he do, what is he like, let’s got some actual details biiiish.
Britt [11:35am]: This is the Bumble guy, right? Or is this the guy you met at Derby last weekend?
Carly: [11:36am]: Jeez Meesh, ok, ok. He works for a tech company I’ve never heard of and I think he’s in…sales? Maybe? Those margs weren’t playing around lol. I mayy have glanced at the check and it was like $140ish and he paid like a gentleman so he’s at least not broke like Spencer.
Carly [11: 36am]: And nooo the Derby guy turned into a real creep and was texting me asking for nudes, like, before we even set up a date. Idk why guys are so rushed, like, take me on a couple dates and you’ll probably see my tits. Don’t just ask for nudes like a weirdo loool.
Britt [11:37am]: Hahahahaha. You’re the wooorst.
Lauren [11:38am]: Hahaha.
Lauren [11:38am]: Ugh fucking Spencer. Thank god you’re done with that asshole. Like, how do you sell coke for a living and are still poor? And damn $140 isn’t bad for a first date. Now we know why you went home with him lollll jk.
Morgan [11:44am]: Group chat poppinnnn today. Just finally got caught up, I’ve been in back to back meetings alllll day. *skull emoji* Glad the date went well Carls! And since no one’s asked it yet, how was the night? Was he good? *smirk emoji, monkey emoji*
Carly [11:52am]: LOL Morgan you would ask that! It was like normal first date good? Tbh, I was pretty shwasty at that point buuut it was good enough, ya know? He went down on me and didn’t have whiskey dick, so definitely good enough to do it again.
Michelle [11:53am]: Get it get it.
Lauren [11:53am]: Well that’s good! Sooo you’re already planning on seeing him again??
Carly [1:24pm]: Whoops sorry! Just saw this. Uhh I’m not sure. He seemed nice, but he’s already texted me twice today which is kinda weirding me out.
Britt [1:32pm]: Eric’s thirstyyy. Lol that is a lot though…what did he say?
Carly [1:39pm]: He texted this morning with the standard “I had a great time last night” which I didn’t respond to right away because I was busy filling you bitches in on every second of my night…but then like an hour ago he texted again with a picture of a beer saying something about him getting a lunch beer to help his hangover. Like is that weird or am I just in a cranky mood because I’m hungover? Like what do I even respond?
Morgan [1:44pm]: Hmmmm it’s kinda weird but also not. Like either one of those texts would be fine on their own, but two back to back seems clingy. Maybe just say something about you being hungover too and say you had a good time as well? Idk.
*Britt, Michelle, and Lauren have liked “hmmmm it’s kinda weird but also not. Like either….”*
Carly [4:11pm]: Ewww UPDATE. So I texted him like y’all said saying “Haha so jealous. My hangover is rough today. I had a good time too! Thanks so much for dinner!” AND LOOK WHAT HE TEXTED BACK.
Carly [4:11pm]: “Of course, thank you for the great company. And for everything after 😉 My friends and I are going out to the Saddle Rack tonight, you should come with me and we have another good night together…”
Carly [4:12pm]: Like what the fuck is that?? He’s saying he wants me to meet his friends the day after our first date? That’s really clingy right? And why does he sound like a creepy uncle talking about another good night together?
Michelle [4:15pm]: EWWW. Yeah that’s super weird.
Morgan [4:16pm]: NOPE. He sounds like that guy I “dated” who tried to introduce me to his parents after like three weeks. Not a good look.
Lauren [4:16pm]: I mean, it’s not like scary creepy, but it is sad creepy. Like he just went through a breakup and is trying to move to fast.
Carly [4:42pm]: Yeahhhh. I basically just told him that I had a good time, but I’m not looking for anything more right now. Which, like, I’m totally not after wasting three years of my life with Spencer. I just want to see what’s out there and not get dragged into a relationship right away. He responded with something douchey about “me just coming over tonight then” and I didn’t respond. Oh well, at least I got laid hahaha. Pregame at my place tonight? I just got some new vino you lushes.
Britt [4:50pm]: Carly the heartbreaker strikes again hahaha.
Lauren [4:52pm]: Hahah oh well, see ya Bumble man.
Michelle [4:56pm]: Fuck that guy. VINOOOOOO. .