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I like to consider myself a modern, independent woman. But when it comes to dating, I’ve always been old-fashioned. If we’re making eye contact with each other from across the bar or in a coffee shop, I’d like you to be the one to approach me. Unfortunately for me, chivalry is, in fact, very much dead. So I’d like to raise the question: as we’re discovering the world of dating in the 21st century, do girls have to be the ones to approach guys to get a date?
Two of my very closest female friends have both gotten hammered at bars, used their lack of inhibition to hit on hot guys, and taken it from there. One of those girls is now engaged to the guy she hit on, while my other friend has been dating her boy toy for over two and a half years. I’ve yet to try this tactic, but apparently it’s a successful one.
Which brings me to this point: I’ve been noticing this trend for years now—more and more women have been the ones to initiate their relationships while more and more men seem to be slowly backing away into the mentality that “the girl should be the one to hit on them.” And as more women make the first move, men are even more comfortable shying away because they don’t have to be the ones to initiate things anymore.
Now, I’m not saying that I think guys should ALWAYS be the ones to hit on girls, because I see nothing wrong with girls taking some initiative now and then. Hell, I wish I could be one of those girls. However, I am the least assertive person I know, and I can make things awkward really quickly, so it’s not a realistic option for me.
But where does that leave all the girls like me—the ones who aren’t forward enough to approach guys on their own, but who aren’t being approached by guys anymore?
As we know all too well, postgrad dating is already the worst. Having to wade through the bullshit is even harder when you tack on texting etiquette, Facebook creeping, meeting people online, meeting people through apps like Tinder—you get the idea. Things are hard enough without adding evolving gender roles to the mix.
Has anyone else noticed this trend, or am I just taking crazy pills? Let me know. Meanwhile, I’m gonna go chug eight vodka sodas in the corner of the bar so I can get drunk enough to hit on that guy. Wish me luck!