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Your Parents
Relationship status: Married for 30 years.
Background: They’re the people who brought you into this world. They’ve never been more sweet, but they’ve also never asked more questions. Their relationship has never been on the rocks, and they are the whitest people you know.
Most Recent Fight: It was in 1998, when your dad took the wrong exit on your family’s road trip to the beach.
Times They’ve Had Sex In The Last Week: You don’t want to know.
Future Divorce Odds: 100 to 1. The time for divorce has come and gone. Your parents are empty nesters now and still sleep in the same bed. You would never bet against your parents, but think of how much money you’d win if you did–you could finally pay off your student loans and buy that jet ski you’ve always wanted.
EDITOR’S NOTE: All couples mentioned are fictional.
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
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brianmcgannon
My parents aren’t fictional….
You beat me to it. Well done.
Seth Pearson is one ugly dude
But after almost a decade, you know he’s packing heat below his Comfort Waist D3’s.
The amount of sex these fictitious couples have makes me jealous. Even Amy and Seth.