Dating Apps Are The New LinkedIn

Dating Apps Are The New LinkedIn

Before long, dating apps might be responsible for every relationship formed. I find myself attending more weddings for couples who met through apps than in person. True love is just a swipe away, for some.

I have friends that get frustrated over the fact that they were unable to land a long-term relationship through a dating app. I gave up on worrying about that long ago. I take dating apps for what they’re really best suited for, job searches.

Dating apps are the new LinkedIn. Think about all of the job titles and companies you come across, and are probably quick to judge, in dating profiles. As someone who always has his ear to the grindstone for new career opportunities, these tidbits have opened up my horizon to a whole new world of opportunities.

Why waste your time on keywords in career search engines when you can get the best of both worlds in checking people out and finding a potential new employer at the same time? It’s a win-win situation.

I just swipe away – doesn’t matter if it’s left or right – until a company catches my eye. I am astonished by how many places are out there that I would never have heard of, let alone applied to, had I not come across this poor sucker looking for love. You want me to take you out for dinner? Sure, all I ask is that you introduce me to your supervisor in exchange for picking up this check. We’ll worry about the HR policy on employees dating later.

I don’t care how unattractive a person might be, if you work somewhere I would like to, then I’m hoping for a match. Sleeping your way to the top has a whole new meaning now that dating apps have become all the rage. Can you imagine how excited your date will be when you start rambling off a thousand questions about their job? While they’re thinking you’re deeply interested in their life, you’re really taking mental notes to tweak your resume and cover letter to tailor to their company’s needs.

One job title to be wary of is Entrepreneur. I’m on here to advance my career; these people are on here trying to find one, period. Entrepreneur in the world of dating apps is another way of saying unemployed. According to their story, they’re pursuing a “passion project” that they have been meaning to get around to. Save your bullshit spiel for your unsolicited LinkedIn messages; I’m trying to make moves on here.

If you’re looking for a home run title, it’s anything talent acquisition related. These career matchmakers are where all the corporate magic happens. They spend all day scouring through emails, resumes and professional references in search of potential job candidates. A night out with you is a welcome escape from having been talked to in action words all day. Little do they know you’re positioning yourself to jump to the front of the line for the next available opportunity at their company.

This will require a long con in order to execute it properly. Going on a few dates is much more enjoyable than writing a custom resume and cover letter, filling out a tedious online application and going through a phone interview before getting your foot in the door. Plus, you might get more than your foot through the door of their home along the way to a new career…

Image via Shutterstock

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If you take everything I've accomplished in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent!

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