Oatmeal for breakfast. Frozen meal for lunch. Frozen meal for dinner. Repeat. PGP.

Before coffee: tired. After coffee: tired and uncontrollably shaky. PGP.

Eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner at your desk. PGP.

The person with the squeaky chair who incessantly rocks back and forth. PGP.

Asking who made what before eating anything at the office potluck. PGP.

The comfort of knowing if you need it, your boss has plenty of advice on hip replacements. PGP.

You would think grown men would know how to flush, but no. PGP.

Chatting up your student loan collection officer because you think they sound hot. PGP.

When the only pet you have is a plant in the office, and you can’t even take care of that. PGP.

Constantly highlighting text as you read it. PGP.

Mentally deciding what morning tasks you will be omitting each time you hit the snooze button. PGP.

Every new employee starts his career off with a lie: “Looking forward to working with you.” PGP.