If this get published it’ll be the most productive thing I do all day. PGP.

Picking the slow lane in traffic just so you get to work later. PGP.

Pre-gaming a home and garden show. PGP.

Spent the last 2 hours at work thinking of what to Snapchat all my friends. PGP.

There’s a special circle of Hell reserved for those who request read receipts on emails. PGP.

I left 47 voicemails today. Exact same thing every time. PGP.

Someone pissed on my favorite stall’s seat. Day ruined. PGP.

I changed my password from Password01 to Password02. PGP.

Walgreens employee telling me to “be well” after my purchase of beer, cigarettes, and Oreos. PGP.

My boss, who makes $300k, just asked me where the word count is in Microsoft Word. PGP.

When you start actively checking the left hand ring finger. PGP.

Purposely ignoring afternoon emails so you can reply to them later that night and keep the “working from home” illusion going strong. PGP.