Actually owing taxes due to my income as a guinea pig #PGP

Doublethink- Fully understanding you are lazy and replaceable. Yet, firmly believing you deserve a raise and bonus. PGP

Last year tequila sunrises on the beach, this year office spring cleaning

Being on a first name basis with the night security staff. PGP.

Regretting getting your college friend a job in your office.

Taking Tums while at the bar.

G chat is down across the country. Worst Monday ever.

Going full Rust Cohle trying to track down whoever stole my snack from the office fridge

ESPN allows a max of 10 brackets. Ill have them finished by lunch.

Returning from a week of vacation and realizing no one noticed you were gone.

Pinch me and I will end you.

“Believe it or not, I used to be in really good shape.”