Had a dream I was fired and got a huge severance package. Best dream ever. PGP.

Riding a fine line between being offended and ‘fair enough’ when you’re made aware of your family’s unanimous concern of you treating the upcoming family trip like a ‘boozy college beach week.’ PGP.

“You really need to stop treating the intern like he is a pledge from your fraternity days”-My boss. PGP.

I have a client whose last name is Bond. Every time he calls me, I say “Good evening, Mr.Bond” in an evil villain voice. He must hate me. PGP.

Brooks Brothers taste on a JoS. A. Bank budget. PGP.

Telling your buddies, “I had to get the Feds off my back” after making a student loan payment. PGP.

Your mother-in-law wishing her daughter married someone else. PGP.

Suits on a Friday. PGP.

I actually enjoy reading. PGP.

The simple joy of taking your shoes off at your desk. PGP.

I already know what my girlfriend is making me do on Valentine’s Day next year. PGP.

My parents bought a bar. They still charge me for drinks. PGP.

Going to the bathroom out of sheer boredom. PGP.

Turning up the volume on your headphones ever so slightly when “Turn Down For What” comes on your Spotify. PGP.

Realizing your older co-workers don’t think you are as funny as the pledges always seemed to. PGP.

I joined a bowling league, mainly to have an excuse to drink on Wednesday nights. PGP.

Urologist appointments. PGP.

Doing a Tiger pump when you see all the bathroom stalls are empty. PGP.

That moment of pure anguish right before getting out of your car in the morning. PGP.

I have one of the nicer cars in my work lot. I drive a 2012 Camry. PGP.