One vagina for the rest of your life. PGP.

Farting in your office and praying no one walks in. PGP.

Accidentally answering your personal phone with your name, company, and position. PGP.

The balance between assuming something and asking a stupid question. PGP.

Icing your knees after the company softball game. PGP.

“There’s my wife. Now, see that? Always smiling, judging, watching. Look at the baby, look at the baby.” PGP.

When getting an “upgraded laptop” means getting your boss’s old one. PGP.

Having a favorite pen. PGP.

Designing your dream Camry online. PGP.

When having a couple drinks just makes you tired and depressed. PGP.

Wearing headphones with no music so your coworkers won’t talk to you. PGP.

Carrying a “Tide to go” instant stain remover. PGP.

Unless your kid’s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it. PGP.

Actually dreading a bachelor party in Vegas. PGP.

Awkwardly getting caught attempting to duck-out at 4:45. PGP.

This is nothing like Mad Men. PGP.

When your computer screen faces your office door. PGP.

When “Sure, I’ll do another” overdrafts your checking account. PGP.

Friday night is the perfect time to catch up on Game of Thrones. PGP.

“How was your 4th?” PGP.