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Ugh, this is getting off to a worse start than high school did for me. And on the first day of high school, I tripped down a pair of stairs and knocked myself out on the wall at the bottom, so that was really quite bad. Of course, this week would have been a little better if my fat fingers had actually picked the Packers, as I wrote that I would. But they didn’t, and I’m off to a pretty crappy start heading into Week 3. But it can only get better from here, right? RIGHT?
Last Week’s Record: 6-10-0
Last Week’s Standing: 43 out of 48
Washington (1-1) at NY Giants (0-2)
Giants Favored by 4.5
Eli’s got a lot on his mind, apparently.
Wondering what Eli may be thinking about during fourth quarter. We have a few suggestions. http://t.co/6f5E1Tk3bS pic.twitter.com/MXiC0OEzF8
— Bill Price (@BitterBillNYDN) September 22, 2015
So I’m going to go with Washington.
Pick: Redskins
Atlanta (2-0) at Dallas (2-0)
Atlanta favored by .5
I so badly want to pick Dallas here. I don’t know why, but I actually wanted Romo to have a good season. Not as good as my beloved TB12, but decent. But a broken clavicle doesn’t sound good and neither did the bone graft for Dez. So, I’m sorry my Dallas friends, I have to do it.
Pick: Falcons
Philadelphia (0-2) at NY Jets (2-0)
NY favored by 2.5
Last week, Troy Aikman said “I wonder what DeMarco Murray is thinking” during the dismal game in Dallas. Well, I can tell you – he’s thinking, “Get me the hell out of Philadelphia.”
Pick: Jets
San Diego (1-1) at Minnesota (1-1)
Minnesota favored by 2.5
This is one I don’t care about, so let’s go with a fun fact: these teams have faced each other 11 times, but neither team has ever won back-to-back, instead alternating wins. The Chargers won the last time they met in 2011, so…
Pick: Vikings
Tampa Bay (1-1) at Houston (0-2)
Houston Favored by 6.5
Ol’ Crab Legs certainly looked better in Week 2, but I’m thinking that he may not look so good when dateless wonder J.J. Watt is barreling at him.
Pick: Texans
New Orleans (0-2) at Carolina (2-0)
Carolina favored by 3.5
Cam’s still smiling (and Brees has a bruised rotator cuff) so I’m still picking Carolina.
Pick: Panthers
Pittsburgh (1-1) at St. Louis (1-1)
Pittsburgh favored by 1.5
The Rams have looked pretty decent, but so have the Steelers. Plus Antonio Brown was on fire last week and Le’Veon Bell is back after his two-game suspension for a substance abuse violation, so…
Pick: Steelers
Indianapolis (0-2) at Tennessee (1-1)
Indianapolis favored by 3.5
What exactly is happening to the Colts? They lost to the Jets, with Frank Gore fumbling at the one yard line, Andrew Luck turning the ball over like he was betting against his own team, and even their coach Chuck Pagano saying they basically sucked. Whereas Marcus Mariota’s been a pretty decent starter for my fantasy team.
Pick: Titans
Cincinnati (2-0) at Baltimore (0-2)
Baltimore favored by 2.5
That ginger darling Andy Dalton and his Bengals really seem to be clicking this season (even with Jeremy Hill’s fumbles), whereas the Ravens defense couldn’t manage to stop the Raiders.
Pick: Bengals
Oakland (1-1) at Cleveland (1-1)
Cleveland favored by 3.5
Another one I don’t care about, so I’ll go with the team whose quarterback (backup?) isn’t an annoying overrated prick.
Pick: Raiders
Jacksonville (1-1) at New England (2-0)
New England favored by 13.5
Did you see Tom Brady last week? DID YOU?
Pick: Patriots
San Francisco (1-1) at Arizona (2-0)
Arizona favored by 6.5
The 49ers failed to put any pressure on Big Ben last week, and given that Carson Palmer looks to have recovered pretty well from his torn ACL, San Fran’s in trouble if they haven’t gotten the defense figured out by Sunday.
Pick: Arizona
Buffalo (1-1) at Miami (1-1)
Miami favored by 2.5
My hatred of Rex Ryan only grew last week, so I’m picking the Dolphins even though they couldn’t manage to score a single point in the fourth quarter against Jacksonville.
Pick: Dolphins
Chicago (0-2) at Seattle (0-2)
Seattle favored by 14.5
Ugh, the size of this spread makes me really uncomfortable. 14.5 is a lot of points, even against the Cutler-less bears. But still, the Seahawks will be at home and the Seahawks fans, as annoying as they are, do seem to push their team over the top.
Pick: Seahawks
Denver (2-0) at Detroit (0-2)
Denver favored by 3.5
According to Bleacher Report, “The Lions are a much better team than their record suggests, while the Broncos are not nearly as good as their record suggests,” and I would agree. Plus, I hate Peyton for getting that stupid Nationwide jingle stuck in my head every damn Sunday.
Pick: Lions
Kansas City (1-1) at Green Bay (2-0)
Green Bay favored by 6.5
I meant to pick Green Bay last week and fucked it up, so they get an automatic pick this week.
Pick: Green Bay
Overall Record: 13-19-0
Overall Standing: 46 out of 48 .
(Spreads as of Tuesday from OfficeFootballPool.com)
Image via Mat Hayward / Shutterstock.com
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
Looks like another tough week. No shot the Giants Eagles Indi and Baltimore all start 0-3. However, Detroit does start 0-3. Oh yea, and SD wins by 10 because Phillip Rivers is a window thrower.
Well, technically the Giants, Colts and Ravens are all favorites this week so just because she didn’t pick them ATS doesn’t mean they’ll lose the game.
Full disclosure, I just skim read and focused on the pick, not realizing she was going ATS rather than pickem.
But, but, but AP?
How exactly did the Rams look good last week?
13-16. not good
It hurts.
Pope Francis is going to be in Philadelphia this weekend, there’s no better way for God to communicate love and mercy to a hopeless people than by giving Eagles fans a win in the wake of His representative on Earth visiting their town.
or he decides to test our faith by starting us 0-3. IS THIS A TEST, GOD?!
I hope that’s going to be the Seahawks, the Eagles can win.
No, its just what happens when you play God like Chip did. Can’t wait to see Bradford continue to play himself out of the league.
Jacksonville will put up a fight against New England
NFL games are one of the hardest sports to bet on, Vegas is the all seeing eye, there is no winning
14-19.
Double down on the wine says Giants cover the 4.5 tonight. Also can’t get over that Mariota is your fantasy QB.
Giants won’t skid to 0-3 against the barnyard musical that is Washington.
Cowboys pick is good. Too many questions at skill positions.
The Jets won’t play as good against the Eagles as they did against the Colts.
Vikings will roll the Chargers.
Texans will pick up their first win against TB. A steady diet of J.J. Watt will help.
Love the Carolina pick. NO looked lost in the sauce on Sunday.
Pittsburg will steamroll the Rams by more than a field goal.
You picked the Titans over the Colts? No ma’am. Indy picks up their first win and Mariota will have a losing record.
Baltimore had so much promise and fell on their face. Good pick. 0-3
Good pick with Oakland. Cleveland seem so on be flipping a coin at QB each week.
Patriots, duh.
49ers don’t look like everyone thought. Good pick.
Buffalo over Miami. Forget the line.
Seattle wins, but you’re right to question the line.
Denver over Detroit. Give the points.
Green Bay is going to manhandle the Chiefs by more than a touchdown.
This is correct.
Went 16-0.
Do we have to wait until you are ranked dead last, 48th instead of 46th, before they stop letting you write these?