Get The Most Out Of The Fucks You Give

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Life is full of embracing new things. That’s what’s so great about it. We have the opportunity to do shit all the time and doing shit can be awesome. But doing shit can also be not awesome…and in the most fucked up plot twist ever, sometimes doing shit is awesome for a while and then, by some dark magic, it becomes not awesome. It’s totally unfair and fucked up, but that’s life.

So, what can we do about this?

Well, in my experience, the answer is pretty simple to understand while also being hard as fuck to actually put into action. To avoid the awesome-to-not-awesome cycle, we have to stop doing shit that is not awesome. That’s it. Take a moment to let that sink in…

We have to take a real honest look at the way we spend our time, energy, money, daylight, and our fucks. The fact is that we only have so many fucks to give and if we keep giving fucks to things that are not awesome, we are totally fucking ourselves.

I call this the Energetic Audit. It starts with taking a look at your life in terms of energy and return on energetic investment. Maybe that makes it more of an Energetic Balance Sheet, but I already named it the other thing so it’s too late now… Anyway, this requires you to take an objective look at what actually takes more energy than it yields in value to you. This return is subjective and depends on what you actually value about life. There is no right or wrong here, just what is.

*side note: Energy = Fucks (basically)

Personally, I like to categorize these actions as either filling or draining me. For example, the 20 minutes I spent earlier today explaining to my ex-girlfriend why I don’t follow her on instagram anymore and investing extra energy into trying to do this in a kind way was draining as fuck with a net loss that would make any energetic venture capitalist shiver in disgust. On the other hand, creating time and spending energy writing this article directly aligns with what I value in life and is fulfilling to me, so I have no issue taking my Friday night to make it happen. I love giving my fucks to content and I know that. It’s awesome and being aware of this leads to the ability to create “balance.”

These are pretty obvious examples, but the fact is that we live on a slippery slope when it comes to these types of actions in life. I could have followed up that ridiculous conversation with something else that I didn’t realize drained me and then, by the time I would have sat down to write this I would be too drained to create anything of value… That’s fucked and a lot of us unknowingly live our lives this way.

The trick is to take complete ownership of the choices we make and the results of those choices. By understanding what gives versus what takes, we can create a much more balanced life by investing more heavily in what we value and doing the draining shit only when absolutely necessary. Life is life and sometimes you’ve got to bite the bullet and work your ass off at something you don’t love in order to get yourself to a place of personal freedom. Sometimes you’ve got to have draining conversations that you’d like to avoid, and sometimes you’ve gotta say “fuck it” and dive into something that lights you up at any cost. Awareness around your values will give you an idea of what, when, how, and (most importantly) why to do something. This is what balance is made of and why it’s so important.

To break it down:

The first step is identifying the most obvious stealer of energy/fucks and distancing yourself from that person/thing/obligation. This will leave you with a sense of freedom and accomplishment, not to mention more time, energy, and fucks to give elsewhere.

The second step is to invest in something that fulfills you now that you have some time and a few extra fucks to give.

The third step is to repeat the first two over and over forever so you can die knowing that you gave the right amount of fucks to the things in life that best served your life purpose.

We have the capacity to observe our actions, look at the shit that isn’t working, and then let it go. Our habits create our identity and letting those things go kinda hurts. The good news is when you quit feeling like a punk bitch, you’ll have more fucks to give to the things that are awesome… You can even go find awesome new shit to give a fuck about, and that’s awesome! One day, you might even decide to give fucks about fewer things and give them more fucks, but that’s another rant…

Invest your fucks well, my friends..

PS: If you dig this, check out The Realness Podcast and experience a robust audio experience that I personally give a lot of fuck about.

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ConnerWanders

Podcaster mostly, but I do other stuff too.