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Welcome to the PGP Mailbag, wherein I will answer questions from you, our readers. Send your questions to dillon@grandex.co. All topics welcome.
Hey Dillon,
I would love to get your opinion on something that a friend of mine and I were recently debating. I can’t remember how it came up but we somehow got on the topic of dating someone that has the same name as one of your parents. We both agreed that this would be weird but had differing opinions about whether or not it would be an all-out deal breaker as far as a relationship goes. I’m of the opinion that a situation like this should not be an all-out deal breaker if you saw a lot of potential with the person (there are ways around it) but my friend stated that he would straight up refuse to date someone if they shared the same name as one of his parents. What are your thoughts? Have you ever been in this situation before or known anyone that has?
Cheers
I’m a big name guy. People know that about me. They’re such an under-the-radar identifying characteristic of people, and I appreciate them. You’ll meet a Scott and be like yeah that’s Scott. Scott is nice. Scott is cool. He’s just Scott. We all know and like Scott.
But no, he’s not just Scott. He’s SCOTT. Scott has nicknames and unique identifiers and very specific Scott-like qualities. He is Scott, and Scott is him. Imagine if Scott was a Gary or a Carl. Like who the fuck even are you anymore? Names are huge for your brand. Your name is your brand.
And even for me, a big time name guy, you can’t fault someone for having the same name as a parent or a sibling or an ex or even a murderous dictator. It’s not their fault, so don’t make them the victim of unfortunate circumstance. And if that person is a great fit for you, you’d be a moron for passing on her simply because her name, like your mother’s, is Nancy.
It’s not like her name is Tammy, Crystal, or Misty. Those actually are deal breakers.
Hi Dillon,
So I’m in a bit of a situation. I recently broke up with my girlfriend and want to bounce back. One of her friends (she’s a 10/10 and we’ve been close for a while) has been coming on to me. Do I go for it or hold off to preserve their friendship (my ex is pretty relentless and would flip shit if she found out). I want to go for it but want some advice. Thanks.
Let’s start this off by making it clear that, no, she is not a 10 out of 10. A 10 is perfection. A 10 is one of the rarest species on earth. There are probably less than a hundred 10s walking this planet as I type this, and none of them, I’m sorry to say, are interested in you.
Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, yes, you should go for it. You’re high if you don’t. A non-10-but-10-in-your-eyes isn’t going to be walking through that door again very soon, friend. The way I see it, it’s not your responsibility to preserve their friendship. It’s your ex’s friend’s responsibility. So, if she is making moves on you, she is making the conscious decision to risk their friendship. She’s saying the juice is worth the squeeze. You’re the juice here.
If, for some reason, you wish to maintain a good friendship with your ex, that’s a different story. You didn’t say that, though, so I’m assuming it’s not on the table.
Dorn,
Figured this question might be best served by being asked via the Mailbag, so here we go:
I started seeing a guy about a month ago, and his 24th birthday is coming up on Wednesday. We’re in no way “official” but are definitely “dating” (and neither of us are dating other people), so I’m wondering how I should navigate this whole birthday thing. Should I get him a gift? If so, any good ideas on what to get considering the nature of the relationship at this point? I’ve thought about 1) just going to dinner, and/or 2) bottle of nice-ish alcohol, but I have no idea what a guy would want/expect at this point in the game. Tips/Man Outfitters/Fulton & Roark plugs are all appreciated.
Hope you’re recovering from Saved by the Brunch and that the Sunday Scaries™️ aren’t hitting you too hard!
Only one month in, I wouldn’t expect any sort actual gift from the girl I was dating. A happy birthday text and a “let’s get dinner to celebrate” is pretty sufficient. If things are to a point (I know some couples move emotionally faster than others) that you feel like doing something for him, keep it light and not too heartfelt. And don’t spend over $40 or so.
And since you brought it up, the sale collection at Man Outfitters has a stupid number of items available in that price range right now. Just saying.
Sup!
So this Fall I’ll be a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding and I’m pretty excited. Only problem is I just got a save the date from two good old-time friends who are getting married to each other and their wedding happens to be on the night before my cousin’s wedding. That means my friends’ wedding will conflict with my cousin’s rehearsal dinner. So…just how important is it that as a bridesmaid attends the rehearsal dinner?
I mean I’m pretty close to my cousin but I’m not the MOH or anything. Plus it would really mean the world to me to watch two of my old friends get married. But alas I want to be a good bridesmaid. What are your thoughts?
There are a few legitimate reasons to miss a rehearsal dinner as a member of the wedding party. This is one of them. Explain to her the situation and she’ll definitely understand and should grant you a hall pass. Make sure you’re bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next morning, though. You need to be available and on your A game if the bride needs you.
Dillon. Long time first time you know the deal. I have a pretty big issue I’m facing and I understand that this may be more of a doctor/psychiatrist problem but here it goes. l’m absolutely atrocious at Fortnite. I can’t get a win. I can’t win in squads, duo, solo, hell I haven’t even won on the teams of 20 after like 8 games. Do I quit? Do I resort to watching ~YouTube gamers~? Help please
I haven’t been a gamer since before I had hair on my peaches, so I have not played Fortnite. HOWEVER, I can admit that Fortnite looks fun af. We’ve gotten hundreds of Fortnite videos sent in from people trying to make an appearance on the TFM Instagram feed. Most of them have been squad celebratory in nature, and they. look. awesome.
Tell me this doesn’t look like a great time:
My nerdy coworkers tell me that was a very impressive “dub.”
I’m so out of touch with current gaming consoles that I’m sure I’d be totally lost playing a game like that today. But, from what I can tell, getting first place in a battle royale is about as satisfying as it gets for a group of dorks. If you aren’t able to taste victory after all this time, you should quit. Loser.
Never in my life did I think I would be writing in to a stranger about life advice a la Dear Abby but…here I am because I cannot make heads or tails of this situation that happened to me recently and need a man’s advice. For some background, I’m in my late 20’s and just got out of a long-term relationship so I am new to this 2018 DC dating scene which is very different from when I left it.
I met this guy at a bar this weekend while I was out with a friend. The evening started out with us both sitting at the bar with our own friend groups but then, after a few hours, whittled down to just the two of us. At this point, we had been talking for a few hours and had realized we have a ton in common. We go back to my apartment, things go well, etc. In the morning, he said asks for my number and leaves…great, all is well. Obviously I instantly go into stalk mode for fun on social media and find his Facebook profile which is completely private and secure like he is special ops. My life goes on and two days later I am at a bar with same friend from the weekend and she asks to see him on social media because she “couldn’t remember what he looked like.” Fast forward to me looking him up and realizing quickly that he BLOCKED ME ON FACEBOOK! This is confirmed when my friend looks him up and he shows up immediately. Keep in mind that I never tried to get in contact with him…
What is this madness? Is this a thing people do now? I haven’t blocked someone on Facebook since like 2007 when my high school ex started getting a little too sentimental. Why would someone go that route? I know the default will be that he has a girlfriend but before we even spoke at the bar he was asked by the bartender if he was single and he said yes (both of his friends are married). My question is: what is this psycho move and what does it mean? Have we really reached the time in life where we’re willy nilly blocking people we just met?
Blocked and Confused
He has a girlfriend..
The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to dillon@grandex.co and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.
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Dillon Cheverere
Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co
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RogerJDorn
Hey guy, I’m all about banging one out with your ex’s friend. Just be prepared to be completely cut off from that entire friend group once it happens. Even after the two girls fight, they will all turn on you like a pack of lions.
Also, girl just dating the guy with a birthday coming up…take your clothes off for him. That is all.
Women totally overthink the birthday present. No man has ever been upset about getting a birthday BJ. Five minutes and some Listerine, and you’ve got this guy eating out of your hand for the next month.
Listerine??? Would that burn?
I’m intrigued…
She uses it after she performs oral sex….not during
Gotta go with ACT. Recommended by 4 out of 5 penises.
Yup. Give him a bottle of decent ($30-40) booze with his beej if you feel you HAVE to buy something.
Or also something like little like one of my exes and I started dating pretty close to Christmas and he used to always comment on my fuzzy socks so I got him a pair and put them in a $1 bag from target with a bow. He thought it was awesome and it was simple and thoughtful. Nbd!
inb4 he shoots his shot, performs poorly, and has his entire sexual reputation trashed beyond repair by two scorned women
First guys friendship triangle is heading right for a meltdown
First of all, Dillon. I’m a 10 lol
To the guy who sucks at Fornite: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, dude but Fortnite is a psy-ops strategy brought on by the shadow government to collect data and see how effective people are at survival and problem solving in order to better coordinate a martial law take over once the fake economy we live within crumbles. If you aren’t building forts and gathering resources while also collecting weapons, you’re gonna get shot dead in the streets. It’s all about the slow descent with the parachute, let all the people rushing in kill each other and then you come in and bat clean up if you get what I’m saying. The circle is ever shrinking lol
We’re all legends in our own minds
Last one is another good example of why today’s dating culture is an absolute tire fire, mainly because of trash moves by garbage people like this guy.
It really is the perfect reminder to today’s earlier article about “the chase” not being everything. You do you, queen, and kill the game. You’ll find a good one.
Agreed, names are a very overlooked personal trait…Hingle McCringleberry – number 1 draft pick. nuf said
I think dating a guy with the same name as my brother would bother me more than my dad because I use my brother’s name but just call my dad, “dad”
Give it a few years and you’ll also run into issues with who you’re calling “dad” as well.
Bridesmaid: attending a good friends wedding is absolutely a fine excuse to miss a rehearsal dinner, just remember that your cousin will be watching you closely for signs of a hangover on her big day. It would be a really trash move to show up for bridesmaid duty not at 100%.
Dillon spot on with the 10/10 take.
That last q&a might have had the most lopsided word ratio this series has seen.
Girl with the birthday dilemma – I just went through this last week. Dinner and some linergie. Makes it a little special, but not expensive or over-the-top.
Dorn, can I use the phrase, “Since before I had hair on my peaches”?
And new girlfriend, just give him mouth stuff for his birthday. It’s a classic for a reason.