======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Every day for about twenty minutes or so, I try to think of something so inventive and cutting edge that I never have to work again. I haven’t come up with anything other than getting hit by a car (again) or winning the lottery which I never play. It’s safe to say I won’t be rich anytime soon.
For some reason, hitting it big made me think of Office Space, specifically Tom Smykowski and his “jump to conclusions” mat which is obviously a stupid-ass idea. Tom’s true genius lied in hitting it big accidentally by getting hit by a car. Ol’ Tom was like any other employee who fell by the wayside with his patented set of skills, losing his employment in a soul-sucking office during a round of layoffs. His tirade to the Bobs, however, still lives in infamy.
“I DEAL WITH THE GODDAMN CUSTOMERS SO THE ENGINEERS DON’T HAVE TO. I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS, I AM GOOD AT DEALING WITH PEOPLE!”
This got me thinking: with all the talk of deal closing, networking and the pursuit of the good life, the ability to talk to people seems to be a dying art. While I don’t think we should get rid of smart phones, there is a certain lacking in today’s world in terms of people skills.
I grew up working in my dad’s hardware store where I met many people from all walks of life. Working in a mom and pop shop taught me at a young age to interact with every customer like they are buying a Vogner Charking Imperial even if they are buying a few washers. As I got older and started caddying, I realized that my pay depended on knowing how to read people and interact. Some golfers wanted to relive their glory days, regaling me of tales where they chased tail left and right while others wanted you to shut the fuck up and tell them where to putt. Being able to read people is something that has paid dividends a hundred fold.
While a lot of people skill issues happen at the workplace, we don’t exactly do a bang up job in interpersonal relationships. “Ghosting” people rather than letting them know “Hey, this isn’t working out,” at first glance, is one of these things. However, I’m sure many ladies and quite a few men can attest that when they try to let someone down easy, the other party gets hostile and defensive, rather than moving on.
The most important part about dealing with others is how you perceive yourself in relation to others (the looking-glass self for all you people that also took Sociology 101). Having the presence of mind to make sure you aren’t coming off as a fuckhead is an invaluable trait as is being able to read the room and act accordingly. This may sound pretty standard to most, but in grad school I had a classmate ask, “How do you know how much to drink in a professional situation?” She was always good for a laugh as the entire class collectively thought, “What an idiot.”
Communication is key. Back in the day, it was by snail mail, in person or telephone. Now, there are many people that do their jobs from the comfort of their own homes. While I’m quite jealous of anyone that gets to do business every day in their underwear, there’s something to said about familiarity. I personally enjoy the ability to walk down two floors to speak to someone on my team in person rather than send five emails and be stuck in CC: hell for a few days over something small.
Starting a relationship in any form takes work but maintaining and building upon is where it gets difficult. I have great rapport with all my former employers because getting a good recommendation when you were a shitbird is pretty tough stuff. My now boss told me one of the reasons I was hired for this job was not just my skills but that I was a “cultural fit” for the team, something that means a lot to me as I put a lot of stock in people skills.
Develop strategies for yourself not only helps you in interpersonal relationships but it bleeds over into many aspects of life, like making new friends. For example, when you’re talking to someone, keep your hands out of your pockets. It makes you look insecure and uninterested and always keep an open posture, don’t slouch. Just remember, you can’t network and move up the bullshit ladder if you can’t talk to people, it’s a simple as that. .
Respond
Madoff
I specialize in damage control, being the drunkest at any and all functions and social assassination. Always appreciate a strong gif game. Follow me on Twitter. Sometimes I put up cool stuff about golfing at the local dirt tracks.
@BLMInvestment
Being able to read a social situation is something I’ve always been able to do (humblebrag?) and it makes me feel so bad for people who can not seem to get it right
And it truly isn’t all that difficult. If you’re in a situation where everyone seems to be grieving, hold off on the dick jokes.
I agree. I’ll never in a million years be the smartest person in a room but I’ll be damned if I’m not reading everyone in the room and seeing through the office bullshit
As someone who had to literally learn how to interact with people, it may not be that difficult to avoid making a huge faux pas. But it is very hard to read nuances in behavior, or know how to properly communicate your intent.
Comas can’t keep a good PGP comment down
Wait a minute… Ric Flair is in a medically induced coma. STRANGER DANGER!!!
I enjoyed this. I’m currently trying to switch from my data based job to something more relationship based to use my people skills- only to be told I don’t have relevant experience. PGP. Thanks for the morning read Madoff.
I have repeatedly told you I could get you in with Goliath National Bank and yet you insist on telling these lies…
We’re literal neighbors and you have yet to showcase those people skills.
but we’re on such a hot streak of not seeing each other
Didn’t even get a Twitter share from you. Hurts, Robin.
I gotchu
I spent the first 30 minutes at work today talking to the cute new hire and practicing my social skills. Carpe Diem, y’all.
This. Had this exact conversation yesterday with an older coworker. If you can type 500 words on Facebook about how your boyfriend splurged and got you dessert at Chilis, you can have a face to face chat with someone without being awkward and dull.
Dessert at Chili’s being considered splurging: PGP.
Why go to Chilis when there’s Papasitos? Since moving here I’ve been to Chilis once why degrade yourself to an inferior restaurant when there are plenty of Papa based casual dining establishments in the Houston metro area?
Whoa. It was a hypothetical Facebook post from someone without people skills.
I would also appreciate some respect when it comes to Houston and it’s dinning options. I actually make it a point to try at least one new spot a week. Plus, Papasitos? It’s good, but I believe you’re better than that. Also, welcome to Screwston.
As a chain casual dining place its pretty great. The fajitas are good and the Chips and green sauce is next level and they have solid margs. Papa’s Steakhouse is the tits too. I’m torn between them and Killens for my favorite here.
Killen’s is the GOAT. All you other states with “good BBQ”, come @ me
I think he’s referring to Killen’s new steakhouse on Voss which I haven’t yet been to but hear it’s good.
@19th – To restate what I’ve said several times before, Texas has the best individual bbq restaurants, however Kansas City has the best overall scene due to quality and variety.
This is completely unrelated to steak or BBQ but have y’all ever been to MKT Bar downtown? Place is legit. They have a different them every night from steak night to game night to karaoke and it’s always a solid crowd.
Have not. I work in River Oaks / Montrose area and live off the Beltway (west side, obviously). The last thing I’m going to do is get back on I-10 after sitting in rush hour.
I meant his steakhouse but i agree his BBQ joint is the best, i like more than Franklin’s and with less of a line. I’d recommend Snow’s BBQ out in Lexington if you ever get a chance, but they’re only open on Saturdays and they usually run out by or before 11.
We’re in the heart of Restaurant Weeks. Pappasito’s and Pappadeaux’s should be empty until after the first week in September.
You’re selling something everyday, to everyone, yourself. You’re selling either positive or negative and we get to choose that each day. Great insight as always Madoff!
Tim Riggins commenting on how important people skills are has been making my brain hurt for 20 minutes now.
I’m constantly interviewing people who have all the skills “on paper” but in person they are so painfully awkward that I’m surprised they were ever hired for a job in the first place
I’ve gotten most of my jobs by the exact opposite merit. I’m not very impressive on paper but I’m likeable and I can bullshit with the best of ’em.
For $30 on venmo I will make you the most impressive person on paper.
My first curriculum included a fraternity position as “academic chair” where I allegedly paired low-performing with high-performing brothers within the same major, resulting in us obtaining 4th best gpa out of over 50 fraternities.
Did we get 4th best gpa? Yes. Was it due to me drinking every night and smoking myself into a coma (my actual position as a brother)? Probably not.
My dad always taught me that your greatest skill can be getting people to laugh, while also knowing the times when to shut up.
I was incredibly socially awkward growing up, and know that it caused me to bomb a few interviews. One thing that helped was constantly practicing talking to others, which eventually got easier over time. Having friends, family and interview coaches who weren’t afraid to be bluntly honest was crucial as well. Loved the tips at the end, by the way.
I’ve always been told I have good people skills and am very comfortable in most social situations. What I really struggle with I guess is appearing like an adult… all my patients think I am a kid and I’ve had a couple argue with me that I can’t be old enough to be a nurse. I’ve been a nurse for a year but I can’t seem to avoid being referred to as “sweety” and “honey” by my patients and I feel like half the time they barely trust me to do my job.
I occasionally been carded for a Rated R movie so i feel your pain
Realistic question: How do you interact in work environments where all people really know how to talk about is sports, and you don’t follow sports closely enough to contribute? (besides just pretending to be a die hard fan)
*I believe the other introverts would appreciate a response from any extroverts out there*
Pick a team and learn a ton about them. It may suck but at least you won’t be an Untouchable. Never speak about the sport or team unless you have a genuine knowledge of what you’re talking about because that’s a one way trip to crucifixion.
Where do you work? Nobody in my office talks about sports. It kills me listening to their stupid white trash stories that have the simplest solutions.
Weather – that’s a no brainer
Travel – where you want to go, where you’ve been, exchange travel tips
Furry things – either pets or best options for hair removal
Literally WTF