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Flirting, or perceived flirting, via text message is still relatively new considering that human beings have been copulating with one another for thousands of years. We’re in a new age now. Guys aren’t getting girl’s phone numbers on a bar napkin and waiting to call in two or three days. It’s the wild west in terms of flirtation.
With so many apps and ways to express what you’re feeling, one would think that flirting would become easier. More streamlined. But I would argue that it’s harder than ever to flirt because we’re bombarded with so many options. There are simply too many to choose from and this muddles the water a bit.
Was that text message her flirting with me or is she just being nice? Was that kissy face emoji she sent you on Snapchat after you sent her a selfie in the car a message that she wants to hook up? How can you know? It’s difficult to determine exactly what a person is trying to get across in this day and age, and I’ve sat down and examined some of the most frequent messages that you’ll run into.
“Hi”
Any variation of this text from a girl is cause for celebration. You are 100% percent getting laid if a girl sends you a text message with no follow up and it reads like any of the following: “Hi”, “Hiiiiiiii”, or “Heyyyyyyy.” All you have to do is not botch the return text up and you’re in like swimwear, baby.
Using a reaction on someone’s text
iPhone recently introduced a feature for iMessage which allows users to “react” to text messages. You can select a heart, a “HaHa”, a “!!!”, and a thumbs up or thumbs down. If a guy or girl is reacting to one of your text messages, it’s a pretty clear sign that they don’t want to have a conversation with you. This is a new way to signal the end of a text thread, so if someone does this to you it’s probably best to just leave them alone.
“I’ll let you know what we end up doing!!”
This is a line pretty much exclusively used by girls texting guys that they have no intention of sleeping with. The guy will text a girl on Friday or Saturday evening and ask what she’s up to and to get the guy off of her back, she’ll respond with something similar to the sentence above. She’s not going to let you know what bar she’s at, and her hahas and lols that she keeps sending you are her letting you down easy. By all means, shoot your shot. But don’t be surprised if you get a message like this one.
“I don’t know what else to say. Sorry.”
You’re fucked, man. Time to hang ‘em up and find a new show because she’s just not that into you.
“[Your name here].”
This one is usually reserved for two people who have been hooking up for a while. You’ve either done something terribly wrong that she is going to let you hear about or she just wants to see you. In either one of those situations, you’re probably going to end up having sex so congrats on that.
*sends you a funny article or video*
There’s a pretty good chance you’ve already read the article or watched the video that she’s just sent you. She knows this. It doesn’t matter, though. It’s a conversation starter, and once again, if this is what is happening than you are probably three or four hours of text messaging away from getting laid.
These types of text messages are usually reserved for mid-afternoon workdays. She’s bored at work, knows you’re also bored at work, and wants to chat. Your best bet in a situation like this is to ask if she wants to come through for dinner around 7 tonight. Just do it.
“You really don’t get it, do you?”
If you haven’t been on the receiving end of a text message like this then you have never tried winning a girl back. This isn’t exactly an L, but it’s certainly not a win either. It’s somewhere right in between that. She’s definitely thought about getting back together with you but she’s hesitant because of something you’ve done. Maybe you’re a terrible listener. Perhaps you’re just an asshole that doesn’t want to hear anything you don’t agree with. Whatever the case, if she’s sending you this you have some work left to do.
I don’t know about you guys, but these are the most common text messages my friends and I run into. Figuring out when and how to respond to a text is half the battle. If you’re really sick of the mind games that go along with text messaging, just start e-mailing like I do. It’s much more efficient..
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
tl;dr version:
Girl: *sends any text*
Duda: “She wants to bang.”
The more Duda writes, the more his narcissism shows.
I love me some me.
Nothing wrong with it man, it’s your brand.
you really don’t get it, do you?
“So you’re telliing me there’s a chance” – Duda
i’m 32…aka about 12 years too old for duda anyways.
Sup
What was that whole one in a million talk?
OR! We could just say what we mean and feel instead of bouncing around using fo-phrases to explain how we ACTUALLY feel. Just a thought.
Get out of here with your reasonable and logical thoughts.
Revolutionary
Sup? Lets pretend to put our best selves forward for the first few dates then slowly ease each other into our craziness, baggage, and hang ups.
Sup
sup
This is what I do. It usually goes very badly as I’ve been told I distinctly don’t have a way with words but the lack of BS is appreciated. The end game of that conversation was a huge failure so it seems faking is a better way to go.
“You really don’t get it, do you?”
Preach!
Can’t speak for everyone here, but if I text simple “hi”, it is NOT a friendly hi. I’m probably extremely pissed off or annoyed. “Hi” is the equivalent of a “k” response.
I’ll take your opinion over Duda’s, don’t worry
I’ll take nearly anyone’s opinion over Duda’s
I miss those days when “hi” meant hi
The way I interpret the “Hi” is that the fairer sex wants you to text her to most likely apologize for something, and she’s tired of waiting. It’s like a nudge. Nothing good comes from the “Hi”, or even worse, a “Hi.”.
Agreed! “Hi” is def. not flirty and unequivocally different than “hiiii”or “heyyyyyyy”
“Hi” is definitely not a friendly greeting. Not going to ignore you, but still currently pissed at you kind of thing.
Username checks out.
The only good response to a “hi” is “I’m sorry” cas you know you messed up at that point.
You think you know/understand women, but you don’t. None of us do. They are beautiful, confusing creatures. instead of trying to figure them out, we just need to appreciate their wonderful existence and ride the waves. Without women, and their confusing texts, we’re nothing but a bunch of hairless apes eating Oreos and watching adult entertainment videos.
They’re not all beautiful. I can assure you that.
Women don’t even understand women. I find myself questioning my own moods half the time.
Congrats on being hairless. Must be nice.
If there was an edit button I’d make this smaller.
“I’ll let you know what we’re doing” haha I use this for anyone I don’t want to hangout with, not just guys.
I really hate this trend. I wish people would just say “I’m not going to be there” and I’ll figure something else out. Our whole generation seems completely incapable.
Sometimes I have plans with a few friends and instead of ignoring the text or lying and saying I’m not doing anything, I’d rather be vague. Saying oh John, Sally and I are doing X, but it’s just going to be us, we aren’t inviting anyone else, will upset most people. Instead, I go with this so that I don’t have to say “You’re not invited”.
“Haha nice”
AKA “Please leave me alone for the rest of our lives.”
This weekend a girl texted me “omg it’s like you’re 80 years old wtf” and honestly it was one of the meanest things someones ever said about me. i was shook
Women dig older guys dude, she was clearly negging you.
“Using hair conditioner causes radioactive particles to stick to your scalp after a nuclear blast ;)”
Men and women’s deodorant are the same thing, just marketed differently to generate more money.
Good, I’m a grown ass man. I’ll smell like honey lavender if I want to.
And sugar scrubs are fantastic. I had no idea what they were until my fiancée put one in our shower
“I’m so bored rn. What are you up to?”
You’re in like Flynn