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One of my earliest memories, let alone earliest Christmas memories, was from my third Christmas where I woke up before my parents and, since I hadn’t yet learned to read, opened everyone’s presents. Two things happened after that. First, my parents stopped putting presents under the tree until Christmas Day. Second, I was so filled with guilt about ruining Christmas that I’ve never been comfortable asking my parents for anything. This presents a problem, pun intended, since every year my mom asks me for a Christmas list. I’m thirty years old sending my parents a Christmas list. However, that also gives me the ability to put together a short, simple, reasonable Christmas list for any postgrad who has no idea what to ask for without sounding like a spoiled brat.
1. Ten-to-Twenty Pairs of Dress Socks
There is no better feeling than putting on a fresh pair of dress socks. It’s like the first few seconds of coitus, but for your feet. Costco has surprisingly good dress socks that are $8 per pack of 4 pairs. Five packs should last you a year (each pair worn 12 times) and you can re-up every year or two if you’d like. Besides, odds are you lose at least a fourth of your socks by your fifth laundry day. If you want to go a little fancier, Nordstrom dress socks are solid, but dress socks are subject to the law of diminishing returns. There’s no benefit to going fancier unless you’re the type who brags about your luxury socks to pick up gold diggers at happy hour.
2. A Chipotle Gift Card
Based on my current consumption rate, a fifty dollar Chipotle gift card can feed me healthily for a week. This would be the most utilitarian present I could possibly get, and I’m sure many of my fellow desk-dwelling Chipotle chompers would agree. There’s no faster healthy alternative for a workday, and it’s not like my metabolism isn’t already through the floor. It’ll go well with my classic “lose weight” New Years Resolution.
3. Amazon Fire TV Stick
As someone who travels on average one week per month for work, I’d much rather watch my Amazon Prime TV, Netflix, or HBO Now on the TV than on my computer. At $40 the Fire Stick is a reasonably priced plug and play that frees up my computer for things like, you know, work, and it’s more portable than a full sized Apple TV or Amazon Fire TV.
4. A Book
Books are a cliche Christmas gift. However, with football season almost over, Hollywood basically excreting waste into the box office (with the exception of “Rogue One”), “Westworld” not returning until 2018, and “Game of Thrones” not returning until late 2017, it’s the perfect time to get into a book before the distractions return. For non-fiction, “Tools of Titans” by Tim Ferriss was at the top of my list. Whether your inner intellectual romantic is looking for some new F Scott Fitzgerald works on which you will not have to write a paper (Bruccoli’s compilation is great, by the way) or you want to read up on the military history of Alexander the Great, I recommend at least one book on the Christmas list. Unless it’s a book involving Amy Schumer or Lena Dunham.
5. A New MacBook Pro
Sometimes you just have to throw a Hail Mary. But the new MacBook Pro does look pretty rad and even time saving. Might even be useful for work..
Image via Shutterstock
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@5OClockShadow_
New pillows and some quarter zips, fam
Does anyone know any sites where I can get some Patagonia or Mizzen and Main brand items ??
Or a Yeti Tumbler??
I like Moosejaw.com for discounts on brands but usually you have to wait till summer to get deals on winter stuff and vice versa.
Backcountry.com
New nice pillows are on my list and I’d be hella excited if I got some of those fancy Spencer’s Gift ones.
Ok I’ve gotta ask- hasn’t everybody been wearing quarter zips since like 2012? I’m shocked it’s trendy around here.
Also, you’re damn right there’s a difference between a $2/pair dress sock and something more expensive. Most notably they won’t stretch out permenantly after 2 uses.
Not to sound like a hipster, but been rocking QZ since ’07-’08. Not sure why it’s big now.
Two words: Ken. Bone.
Eh, maybe, IDK.
My sentiments exactly
Ten to twenty pairs of dress…Wills?
Underrated comment
Chipotle is so damn cliché. I’m glad it’s not trendy anymore.
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My wish list: pay my college tuition, and buy me the 21 year Glenfiddich. Thanks.
I want all my relatives to pool their money together and send a rent check for January to my landlord.
In hindsight, I should’ve asked for this too. Awesome idea.
I thinking I’m getting a vacuum and I’m getting my kitchen tiled with leftover tile from my parent’s kitchen. If that’s not the most postgrad Christmas I don’t know what is.
Asked my MIL to buy me all new socks, underwear, and undershirts for Christmas. Super excited to throw out all the old stuff if she doesn’t fuck it up.
Also, keep an Amazon wishlist up to date; every time I hear about an interesting book, or think of a tool/gadget/etc I “need” or whatever, onto the wishlist it goes, and then I can send it to mom and wife when they nag me about a Christmas list.
I only asked for a new windshield, since I got a giant crack in it driving 7 hours to visit them.
Currently struggling with this. My parents have been harassing me for two weeks now and all I can think of is a blender and new winter hat.
Ask for the Ninja. I got one last year and haven’t looked at breakfast or marg’s the same ever since.
Can confirm
Sup?
I’d love the cash equivalent of the trip my brother (favorite child) is getting.