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“There, there, everything’ll be fine,” her mom tells her as she pours a tall glass of bourdeaux.
“I just don’t want to talk about it anymore,” she responds, still in her pajamas that consist of a pair of Nike shorts draped by one of Todd’s oversized club lacrosse shirts.
“You know, your dad and I also–”
“Mom, stop.”
As her dad sits in his usual leather chair with two fingers of scotch in his hand, she can barely stand hearing the Lions game. On the couch underneath a chunky blanket with Sperry burying his head into the fold of her legs, she starts watching Stuck In Love on Netflix with her headphones in.
Her father isn’t entirely sure what happened, but he knows something happened. He can see she’s intently watching the movie, but every couple minutes he peers over with his eyes to make sure she’s not crying. He wants to ask, but he also knows that he can’t handle the floodgates should tears enter the situation. Slinking out of his chair as if he’s sneaking away from a sleeping bear ready to attack, he tip-toes into the kitchen.
Grabbing some stuffing out of the bowl being prepared by her mom, he asks, “Honey, do you know what’s going on with her? Something’s awry.”
Whispering back for fear of her hearing them through her headphones, she responds, “I’m not sure, hun, she’s refusing to talk about it. I can only assume it has to do with Todd.”
He picks another finger pinch of stuffing out of the bowl before she swats his hand away.
“George William Fitzpatrick, if you keep eating the stuffing, there’ll be nothing left for dinner!”
He heads to the pantry for a bag of pretzels and some pimento cheese dip before cracking a seasonal ale and pouring it into a Tervis tumbler brandishing the emblem of his old prep school. “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be over here finishing the game.”
Gingerly, he heads back over to the chair giving her the same eyes he gave as he snuck away minutes before.
Going movie to movie throughout the afternoon, it finally became time to get ready for dinner before the entire family showed up. Traditionally, it was a very formal affair and this year is no different.
Adorned in a plaid dress, she stands in her bathroom combing her hair while everyone trickles in. The commotion downstairs is reminiscent of years gone by, and being in her old bedroom overwhelms her with enough nostalgia to temporarily forget what happened that night on Friendsgiving. The only text she received all day were from people she hasn’t spoken to in years saying, “Happy Thanksgiving” followed by numerous fall-oriented emojis. But for the night, she decides to leave her phone on “Do Not Disturb” on her bedside table in an effort to celebrate family over her personal life.
“Everything is fine,” she thinks to herself with one last look in the mirror. With a deep breath, she straightens her pearls and walks down the spiraling staircase to greet everyone.
With her uncles dressed in turtlenecks and sport coats, she hugs them each as they tell her how “grown up” she looks. It feels as though it’s been forever since they’ve seen one another, despite it only being a couple months since her niece was christened.
As the gentlemen head to the bar with their red wine and scotch in hand, she approaches her Aunt Claire.
“Look at you,” Aunt Claire comments while holding her hands and taking a step back. They smile at one another as Aunt Claire puts her hand on her lower back and lead each other into the living room.
Unknowingly, Aunt Claire looks over to her and utters, “So, tell me about this boy I’ve been hearing all about.” .
Image via Shutterstock
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
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I wonder whose turkey Todd is stuffing?
George is the definition of Dad goals
Stealing the stuffing. PGPM
Aunt Clair gives I-tunes gift cards for Christmas. She’s the worst.
Honestly, is there a worst present to give anyone? Getting nothing is 10x better.
I want everyone to know that I’m aware that I made a typo.
With your post or username?
#Roasted
via GIPHY
I’ve already addressed my username issue. It’s embarrassing and as the years pass it will continue to get worse. I’m just gonna have to own it.
Can we get a “Things George Does” spinoff?
Every day regret his frat star status in undergrad, causing karma to give him this awful basic of a daughter? Whom (?) I’m going ice skating with next week. #helpme
I hope Todd’s dad and George meet in the next TGDAG. Both of them seem chill as fuck.
You know that they probably already golf together
They probably met at the country club bar and have no idea their kids are dating.
“My son’s dating this bratty, annoying girl. She drives me to drink heavily when I’m around her. Son is going to have to pull the plug soon on that one.”
-My daughter is dating this super sketch guy, we know quite literally nothing about him other than he gets really drunk and wanders off. I actually kind of like him.
DAMMIT WILL
Hope Todd got the band back together and is having a great Thanksgiving.
Next ‘Things Girls Do’: “Drunkenly Text The Ex”
But seriously, who did Todd bang?
I can’t wait to read the drunken 2am text conversation when it inevitably happens