- You still wear your letterman jacket.
- You think of your freshman year lab partner as the one that got away.
- You’re jealous of the guy they call “The Sandwich Artist” at work. That guy’s really going places. You? You’re just a sandwich maker.
- You don’t have a savings account…or a checking account, for that matter.
- You still receive an allowance.
- You still live with your parents, and you always have.
- Your “glory years” involved a homeroom and a jockstrap.
- You’ve never voted.
- Your license has been suspended three times.
- You buy beer for kids you don’t even know.
- Your name is Junior.
- It’s unclear if you actually graduated.
- Matthew McConaughey from Dazed and Confused is your idol.
- Dazed and Confused is your favorite movie.
- You can still roll a sick joint.
- You own a vaporizer.
- There’s a Baywatch poster on your bedroom wall.
- You’ve googled “get rich quick” in the past twenty-four hours.
- Your parents have completely and utterly given up on you.
- The cops in your town know you by name.
- You woke up on your parents’ lawn last weekend.
- You own a reptile.
- Your mom makes your bed.
- You have a “2003 State Champs” tattoo on your shoulder.
- Your dad stopped looking you in the eye ten years ago.
- You dabble in selling weed.
- People have stopped telling you that you have potential.
- You really aren’t going places.
- You think that the ice cream truck guy has it made.
- Your pants all have drawstrings.
- Your favorite band is still Sublime.
- Your class ring is your most prized possession.
- You masturbate to your old yearbooks.
- You have a flip phone.
- You had sex beneath the bleachers…last week.
- You’ve memorized the age of consent in every state.
- You enjoy WWE.
- You went home with your Home Ec teacher at your 10-year reunion.
- People incorrectly assume that you have a learning disability.
- Your career aspiration is to coach the JV football team.
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Nice pic, thanks for the shoutout!
36 is just being responsible.
There is a guy 2 houses down missing a finger who fits this description…except he never peaked, ever.