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- I’m twenty-fucking-three. That is literally all the reason I need, but the list continues.
- No pants? No problem.
- I don’t have to feel things. Which, again, is reason enough.
- I don’t have to ask permission to do anything. Even my mom tells me I’m 23 years old and I can do what I want.
- My body is in peak condition, so if I have to take up stripping to pay off these student loans, it won’t be a problem.
- I can be broke without someone’s help. Or their judgement.
- My DVR, my bed, my food, and my hot water all share something in common: they are the only things I technically own in this world.
- I can have activities without putting in the extra two cents of effort because I honestly couldn’t care less.
- You can watch SportsCenter to your heart’s content.
- Unlimited flirting potential with none of the commitment.
- Fuck buddies.
- I get my way all the time. I don’t have to compromise on what movie we’re going to see or which restaurant we should eat at, etc.
- My family knows I’m too poor to spend money on them so I don’t have to buy anyone anything ever. It’s great.
- I can go out and get hit on without someone throwing a bitch fit.
- I can politely ask my “friend” to leave after adult activities without feeling like an asshole about it.
- I don’t necessarily have to clean my apartment if I don’t want to, which should probably be closer to the top of this list.
- My phone doesn’t get blown up like crazy on a regular basis.
- And I don’t have to babysit anyone after a night of heavy drinking.
- Yes, I’m going to eat “all of that.”
- I can masturbate. Whenever. I. Want. Without someone having a fucking complex about it.
- I have full control of the remote, which means I can watch the UK game followed by Sex and the City if I want.
- I can get blackout drunk and not have to explain myself or apologize to anyone.
- And I don’t have to take anyone home to meet my parents, therefore never getting asked when I plan on getting married, or going home, for that matter.
Respond
@lnsayers
@lnsayers
I read this thinking it was a dude.
Surprise!
meh.
1.) Couldn’t have said it better myself. 2.) I’d be more than happy to offer you my adult services.
Considering you’re a girl, and half your list is about getting laid, I’d say you set a pretty low bar.
You had me at sportcenter….. but I’m dreadfully concerned you are really a dude writing under this pseudonym as a PGP social experiment
Please your mom has been wondering why you aren’t married the second you walked across the stage. If she doesn’t voice it aloud, it’s because your other relatives will come the holidays.
My mom has been married four times, so I reserve the right to shut her down real quick.
#5 – WWOP
Did you see a couple weeks ago when that girl blogged about 23 things to do instead of getting married? I grew up in the South, so it was met with tons of responses from the marrieds talking about how their lives were better and getting judgey because someone was having more fun with different lifestyle. It was all so amazing.
Also, agree with all of this. I hate pants.
Who really enjoys pants?
I know this was posted 2 years ago, but I have a huge crush on lnsayers. If you read this lns, come to Chico, CA and I’ll take you out for fajitas.
You’re incredible