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Every so often, something comes up on the internet that I have to respond to. Something so absurd, nonsensical, and flat out infuriating that it warrants a response. It deserves to be dragged out into the street, stripped down and revealed as the fraud it is. That happened when this Elite Daily article came across my timeline. Entitled “Dear Mom: 8 Reasons Why I’ll Never Wear A Suit To Work,” it’s the typical hackery, self-appreciating, pat-on-the-backery you would come to expect from Elite Daily.
I get it. Elite Daily is the romantic to PGP’s cynic. It’s a site that fellates celebrates millennials, enabling empowering them to be the most intolerable best they possibly can be. However, articles like this just make my skin crawl. It’s the epitome of why anyone older than 35-years-old cannot stand our generation. Yes, we’re the generation that’s brought you social media, ridesharing, the smartphone, and the ability to order pizza with minimal human interaction. We’re also a generation that loves to tell old people (yuck! Right, guys?) why we won’t conform and why we make the rules up in this bitch. This was no more apparent than it was in this article.
So, how about I take your 8 reasons why suits are dumb/bad/ugly/fascist and turn them into 8 reasons why everyone should have a suit-and-tie job at one point or another.
1. “Because I’m passionate about the dream, not the paycheck.”
I respect the hell out of people who pursue their dreams, but a dream is just a vision without a plan. You can keep chasing the dream all you want, but wearing a suit is all part of a bigger plan to those of us who at one point or another hit up a 3-for-1 special at Jos. A. Bank. While you were dreaming about whatever the hell it is you want to do with your life, we were waking up at 6 a.m. and busted our ass so we could get to a place where we’re not wearing a suit everyday.
2. “Because I’m into celebrating small successes, not my CEO’s achievements.”
Let’s just float on down to CEO-less land, where we don’t have health coverage or steady paychecks. The average CEO makes 300 times the amount of the average worker, but the odds are that CEO busted their ass through grad school, paid their dues, made the right connections and were given similar chances you have been given. Sure, luck has a lot to do with it, but you make your own luck. Stop dreaming, start doing.
3. “Because I want to have a voice, not just a 401K”
See how far your voice will take you when you’re 65 or trying to put kids through college.
4. “Because I want to be the man, not work for him.”
To be the man, you’ve gotta beat the man. Working in corporate America has its benefits. Not everyone drops out of Harvard and invents Facebook. A vital part of success is learning from experts and surrounding yourself with the right people.
5. “Because I want to work for a vision I believe in, not one that dictates my wardrobe.”
That’s honorable, but again, what exactly is your vision? Your vision is probably different from those who just want to contribute to society. Not everyone can be a professional athlete, rock star, actor or a millionaire CEO of a startup. The difference is talent and desire. Talent stands out. Just because you show up to work in a v-neck and a pair of jeans doesn’t mean you’re willing to work harder than someone who has a couple grand’s worth of corporate garb hanging in their closet. This is coming from someone who hasn’t worn a suit to work in two years, but also from someone who speaks for anyone who puts on the same $250 dollar suit and sits in a 7×7 cube in an effort to better themselves and make their mark any way they can.
6. “Because I want to enjoy my job, not resent it.”
There’s a reason it’s called a job. There’s a reason it’s called work. It’s because you have a responsibility and people who count on you. If taking an extra 15 minutes in the morning to make sure you look a little bit better than your competitor makes you resent your job, go work at McDonalds. If you want to play in the big leagues, you have to wear the uniform.
7. “Because I want to feel like I’m part of a family, not a team”
This might be the most egregious claim. Being part of a family requires unconditional love and support. Being part of a team requires accountability and trust. A family is willing to forgive mistake after mistake and accepts its members for who they are. A team holds those who makes mistakes accountable and works towards a common goal. Teamwork makes the dreamwork. Teamwork also makes everyone filthy rich.
8. Because I don’t want to spend money on clothes I hate wearing
If what you’re wearing to work dictates your happiness, you really need to re-evaluate what makes you happy..
Image via Shutterstock
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
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My favorite suit will always be my birthday suit.
(stands up on chair)
OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN.
How great was Dead Poets Society?
Real great.
It’s not necessarily our entire generation that everyone hates, just the whiny, entitled, participation trophy sect that makes the rest of us look bad.
Elite daily is garbage on so many levels.
Wearing a suit almost makes things easier. I can ride out the same two dress shirts and two suits for like two weeks straight without having to make daily wardrobe decisions. If that makes me gross I don’t want to be not gross.
I’m so sick of Elite Daily’s garbage. Inflating the egos of girls who have no reason to have even semi-inflated egos yet. Recipe for an awful generation.
I appriciate everything that you are saying here, Brian. But I love that there are those people who think like Elite Daily. People like them are the reason people like the rest of us have a better chance of being successful financially. Plus…..
Wearing a suit to work just makes people think I’m interviewing, unfortunately. It’s a ridiculously casual dress code.
On the positive side, I do it once a quarter or so just to see if I can get my boss to freak out a bit.
My roommate is an insurance salesman. He wears a suit, which is fine when your working…but he wears it the entire day, every day. Looks like an idiot going to the local bars around where we live and is the only one wearing anything formal.
I thought insurance agents only wear khakis.
So statefarm is lying?!
If he is going straight to the bar from work in a suit, I don’t see your complaint, plenty of people I know wear a suit to happy hour if it’s what they’ve been wearing all day. I usually ditch the tie and/or jacket in the car if I can’t go home to change (or hotel when I travel)
Now, if he is specifically putting on a full suit to go to the bars or refusing to change after work, your roommate is indeed a clown
Refuses to change after work
Wearing or not wearing a suit has literally no bearing on any of the reasoning they provided. Also, Lauren Martin is hot garbage.
“We’re also a generation that loves to tell old people (yuck! Right, guys?) why we won’t conform and why we make the rules up in this bitch. ”
Welcome to every younger generation ever in the history of humanity. I fucking *hate* wearing suits to work, but I rarely have to do it. Wearing a suit for a suit’s sake is idiotic. Wear one if you want to or if it’s required. Don’t need to go much deeper than that.
Not at all my message. Wearing a suit just to wear a suit makes you look like a moron. I was merely responding to the narrative that you can’t accomplish your goals while wearing a suit.
“Wear one if you want to or if it’s required. Don’t need to go much deeper than that.”
There I saved you 45 minutes in writing a column