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You know in The Devil Wears Prada where Emily takes Andrea under her wing so she doesn’t get eaten alive by Miranda Priestly? Oh, cool, you’re too good for that movie? Well, Meryl Streep is too good for MMA and football, but that doesn’t mean they’re inherently bad. Whatever, you get the picture – interns have it hard. Really hard. I mean, this guy treated his interns like “incompetent slaves” and got in trouble with human resources for it.
Well, we just got two new interns. A guy and a girl. Both in college. Reagan and Olivia. On the surface, they’re doing everything right: agreeing with our terrible takes, telling us they’re not cold even when we make them eat outside in sub-60 temperatures, and Reagan even looked up tee times for us on Saturday after he heard us discuss the possibility of golfing in passing.
But, like, I’m still not really sure what we need them to be doing. Like, yeah, Dave is probably going to have one of them stock our office with iced coffee since we’re tired of our Keurig flavors. But that takes, like, what? Fifteen minutes to accomplish? I mean, I can have Olivia glance over Things Girls Do After Graduation tomorrow to make sure I’m still current with how these young whippersnappers are talking, but I’m not really sure if she even likes the series or is just pretending to.
I honestly have no idea. Should they be searching Reddit for leads? Upping our Instagram game? Snapchatting Dave practicing his swing at his desk? I’m nervous around these two even though I’m a 30-year-old man. I wore a fucking sweater to work today while most days I wear joggers and a t-shirt. They’ve turned me into a nervous Nancy who doesn’t know what to do around them because they’re a decade younger than me and I have no idea how to interact with them.
Seriously, I need help. What the hell should we have these two do to make the site and/or our lives exponentially better? .
Image via YouTube
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
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will@grandex.co
-Update the photo section more regularly
-Keep the instagram game strong
– Start a series called “Takes heard around the office ranging from mediocre to fire.”
– Send then undercover to a Mazda dealership with no intention of purchasing a car and reward the intern that can score the best potential deal on a Miata.
– Hand clean Bolen and Will’s Yeezy’s once a week.
-Read through more commenter submitted material/columns to keep the site fresh.
Definitely need undercover Miata recon.
“Overheard in the office” segment/wall.
Fire the interns and hire Duda back
By paying him only in cases of Miller Lite, cartons of cigarettes, and not condoms.
I hear those not condoms are pricey.
And coupons for pants at mens outfitters.
so is there a reddit on why Duda got canned?
Madison wrote a Medium on it but apparently deleted it. Which is a shame because it was a really well written explanation on that and how difficult firing people in general is.
Trimming the fat.
Never notice Duda was gone… Guessing that’s why he’s gone.
I’m here to support a Dooda free PGP. Thanks.
Give us stock photo girl of the week on a weekly basis
And stock photo guy. Please and thank you, there are lady readers on this site.
I’ll be your stock photo guy. Sup?
YES PLEASE
I blame the patriarchy
Bless from a fellow cartographer
Can a college aged intern pick a SPGOTW (need to work on that acronym) since he hasn’t been jaded by the real world? They’d all be a bunch of soft 6’s and 7’s compared to the girls in his Econ 2201 class he only goes to if he’s up by 8:30 and not too hungover to get out of bed.
Have them find the worst rated netflix shows and give full column reviews of them
Have then add an edit function to comments.
Them*. Oh the irony.
Irony or coincidence? Had an ex who corrected me all the time on this. Gets my blood pumping to this day.
A series of tasks to toughen Will up
Task 1- catch a trout with your mouth, like a bear.
Drugs
Actually stock Micah’s podcast desk with taco bar fixings.
They should be living for the content. Send them to events like a Bachelor cast meet up and report back.
We want hot takes! Make them document it