My work nickname has stuck and has absolutely nothing to do with me or my real name. PGP.

I actually would like to lose 10 pounds. PGP.

Woke up with heartburn. PGP.

Hallway head nods. PGP

“I was referred to you…” PGP

I threatened a group of teenagers that I would get them kicked out of the movie, if they didn’t be quiet. PGP.

Anytime a co-worker asks me what I’ve been up to at work, the go to response is: “Just been putting out some fires”

I just got, “nice sweater grandpa” by an older colleague. PGP

Is anything really getting done this week? PGP

College kids bitching about finals week. PGP.