The overly aggressive automatic flusher just sprayed shit all over my clothes. PGP.

Really wishing I could ctrl+z in real life situations. PGP.

1: Want to grab lunch? 2: Can’t, Gotta return RedBox DVD’s. PGP.

“What do you mean it didn’t save?” PGP.

Can’t tell if my coffee smells like urine or my urine smells like coffee. PGP.

Having to ask the pharmacist if it’s okay to drink on your new medication. PGP.

I don’t know how long basic produce stays good for. PGP.

Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.

Trading your expensive tobacco habit for an expensive nicotine gum habit. PGP.

When IT needs a laugh, they look at my IM history. PGP.