Not having the faintest idea how dry cleaning actually works. PGP.

Watching The Three Stooges and wondering why you can’t work with people who are even half as intelligent. PGP.

Your car was brand new when you were in the third grade. PGP.

Out-girthing an entire wardrobe. PGP.

Referring to the remaining hair on your head as “The Power Doughnut.” PGP.

Coffee simultaneously serving as a pick-me-up and a laxative. PGP.

A speeding ticket totally decimating your monthly budget. PGP.

The closest you’ve come to tapping a keg in the past two years has been replacing the water cooler in the break room. PGP.

Your depressing pictures-to-followers ratio on Instagram. PGP.

Too old for Country Fest, too young for Newport Jazz, too poor for Coachella. PGP.