Cousin Eddie being unemployed for seven years because he’s holding out for a management position. PGP.

I quoted “Varsity Blues” in a meeting. No one had any idea what the fuck I was talking about. PGP.

Showing my boss – who makes a quarter of a million dollars a year – how to make “cool bullet sounds” for his PowerPoint presentation. PGP.

Introvert in the office. Extrovert in literally every other aspect of my life. PGP.

“Crushing spreadsheets” is actually a term I catch myself using often. PGP.

Started upper-middle class now I’m poor. PGP.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit. PGP.

Instinctively saying, “I have an errand to run,” when a coworker asks what you’re doing for lunch. PGP.

Mowing the yard for exercise. PGP.

She’s office hot. PGP.