I deleted the Bumble app, but not my account six months ago. Today my girlfriend got a series of screenshots from her sister when she came across my profile. PGP.

Minimizing your group chat at the right time by knowing the sound of everyone in the office’s footsteps. PGP.

“Sale” “Sort by: Lowest price first” PGP.

Completing deliverables hungover is my version of the Jordan flu game. PGP.

Tums. PGP.

Holding in jokes that would probably get you fired. PGP.

Accepted an offer for a new job today and leave for Vegas tomorrow. My out of office is just going to be “I will be out Friday and not will not be returning.” PGP.