I have a friend that has a golden doodle and mixes her food every night, paints her nails, and wipes her ass after doing her business. To make things better, I was invited to the dog’s first birthday party this weekend.
I don’t have time to take pictures. Respect the process.
“Ok, pay attention. First you take the graham, you stick the chocolate on the graham. Then you roast the ‘mallow. When the ‘mallows flaming… you stick it on the chocolate. Then cover with the other end. Then you scarf.”
I’m fully convinced that Todd partook in the drinking game you described and promptly passed out around the third text of the day and never recovered.
I swear you stole a girl’s phone for this it is that accurate. I’m worn out after reading that.
I pack my lunch too, but then eat it when I’m hungry, which like D-man is at like 10. Then I usually go buy second lunch.
“I arrived on the west coast in June…”
…okay.
I plan on dominating foosball at the retirement community. By then my back will be permanently hunched over anyway giving me great form.
I was in awe the whole time. Not in a good way. If I was popular (and funny) it would have been a great live-tweet.
I have a friend that has a golden doodle and mixes her food every night, paints her nails, and wipes her ass after doing her business. To make things better, I was invited to the dog’s first birthday party this weekend.
The rate really should be lower. It’s absurd to be paying close to 7%.
“Don’t knock on opportunity’s door, kick that sumbitch in. Smile and introduce yourself.” – The Rock
Helvetica doesn’t even come up as an option for me anymore.
I never spill on myself, but that’s probably because I eat alone hunched over my desk alone every day.
Gabby Epstein now has a new follower
I like to think I know of most new, useful things, but I can’t believe I’ve never heard of Postmates. It sounds like a dream come true.
When wrestling was still good.
In my heyday I was pulling $10 a week.
Fired
The best way to detox is to retox.
The cannonball will always be my go-to
I don’t have time to take pictures. Respect the process.
“Ok, pay attention. First you take the graham, you stick the chocolate on the graham. Then you roast the ‘mallow. When the ‘mallows flaming… you stick it on the chocolate. Then cover with the other end. Then you scarf.”
I may be the minority, but I’d rather see pics of food than pregnant bellies. Well, at least professionally-made food, not homemade shit.