My company’s life insurance policy makes me worth more dead than alive. PGP.

My only active group text message is with my parents. PGP.

The guy next to me eats 8-10 popsicles a day. PGP.

Bringing your lunch to work so you can afford to drink after. PGP.

My coworker just got engaged to someone she met on Tinder two months ago. PGP.

I quit three days ago, mentally. PGP.

Gameday weddings. PGP.

If I see the hashtag #LoveMyJob one more time I am going to flip out. PGP.

Not going to grad school because I just spent 17 fucking years in school. PGP.