1: “Hey, man, how’s it going?” 2: “Eh, depends on how you look at it.” PGP.

It’s a 10 minute walk from my parking space to the office. PGP.

I don’t know which is worse, a cold private toilet seat or a warm public one. PGP.

Manager in email: “Team, please send me your projected PTO [paid time off] dates for the period of 1 June through 26 Sep 2014 by COB today.” PGP.

At first I was optimistic. I soon became realistic, then indifferent, then apathetic. I’m beyond that now. There may be a word for it but I don’t care enough to look it up. PGP.

There’s a guy having an incredibly audible conversation with his wife in a bathroom stall while the guy in the stall next to him is just destroying the toilet. PGP.

The tone deaf land whale in the next cubicle has been singing oldies all… day… long.

Had an awesome PGP I wanted to post but a coworker dropped by my cubicle and now I can’t remember what it was.

How did they get piss on the top of the urinal? PGP.

I’m sad that my date canceled last minute, but relieved I don’t have to spend money tonight. PGP.