“Alright, let’s go ahead and get started.”

Babe flirting with me in the bar turned out to be a hooker. I couldn’t afford it. PGP

*accidentally swipes left* “SHE WAS THE ONE!” PGP.

Still hungover from MDW. PGP.

Getting issued a company laptop is awesome until you realize it means you are expected to work from home now. PGP.

I purposely mess up my travel receipt envelopes just so the cute girl in accounting will email me. PGP.

1: “What’s your day looking like today?” 2: “Busy.” PGP.