Envying the intern whose lunch is clearly made by his mom. PGP.

The overwhelming satisfaction you get when you see people you went to high school with doing much worse in life than you. PGP.

Looking for any reason to give someone your business card so you feel somewhat grown up. PGP.

Keeping your desk messy at all times so you always look busy. PGP.

Candy Crushing in the bathroom stall for so long that your legs fall asleep. PGP.

Hoping the cleaning staff steals your computer at night so you have an excuse not to work. PGP.

Getting excited when you finish an entire lunch without getting anything on your clothes. PGP.

That awkward moment when another male coworker tries to fix your tie. PGP.

That terrified feeling when you get a call on your cell phone from the office number. PGP.

When the only thing on your list of 5-year-goals is being able to afford groceries from Whole Foods. PGP.