I got high off of my coffee today. PGP.

Not sick enough to stay home, but not at perfect health. PGP.

Watched “The Truman Show” last night. Now I’m paranoid and questioning my entire life. PGP.

I’ve been at this job site for almost six weeks. Only have two friends. PGP.

Excited to have an assigned desk. PGP.

For some reason, Tinder doesn’t work while connected to my office’s WiFi. PGP.

Tinder matches more interested in seeing me than friends and fraternity bros from college. PGP.

Opened a new Chrome tab while hooked up to the projector. All the new hires saw my most visited website was my gambling site. PGP.

I get a huge rush from stealing K cups from my office. PGP.

I want to get a German Shepherd but they’re too smart and I know it would end up just calling me on my shit. PGP.