Things you need to do in order to be my fall girlfriend:
1. Give head as if you had cancer and my man gravy is the only cure.
2. Don’t complain at how sloppy drunk I get at tailgates.
3. Don’t make me drink pumpkin spice anything.
4. Don’t expect me to grow facial hair. If your ideal Guy’s job allows if he either is a) working for hourly pay in a dead end job or b) a rabid hunter/mountain man, but odds are he’s choice a).
He seems upset about the whole “Make America Great Again” idea. The reason that hasn’t taken off in England is they haven’t been “great” since pre-1776.
We’re just two brothers with a maple syrup start-up in Vermont that is trying to come up with a way to serve the nation’s poor vitamin D enriched syrup on their pancakes.
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I’ve never had a job where we were allowed facial hair/longer hair in the office.
Censorship is for communists and SJWs.
Things you need to do in order to be my fall girlfriend:
1. Give head as if you had cancer and my man gravy is the only cure.
2. Don’t complain at how sloppy drunk I get at tailgates.
3. Don’t make me drink pumpkin spice anything.
4. Don’t expect me to grow facial hair. If your ideal Guy’s job allows if he either is a) working for hourly pay in a dead end job or b) a rabid hunter/mountain man, but odds are he’s choice a).
He seems upset about the whole “Make America Great Again” idea. The reason that hasn’t taken off in England is they haven’t been “great” since pre-1776.
We’re just two brothers with a maple syrup start-up in Vermont that is trying to come up with a way to serve the nation’s poor vitamin D enriched syrup on their pancakes.
You two fucking or what?
Come to think of it, it’s how she can take dick that I really enjoy.
My celebrity crush is Dillon Harper. Just something about the way she does her job that gets me going.
Get the fuck out. All of my marine biology knowledge is based off of that show.
Wait till you get to know me personally. It gets a lot more fucked up.
And medical schools can always use another cadaver.
You know me too well.
Just like that Thai hooker.
Cranking your goo gun for an hour? That’s how I start every Saturday.
Read: “I’m not getting laid at all.”
I just agree with whatever my gf says. It’s easier that way.
You know what? Fuck my Cole Haans. Next time I’m in Austin I’m hitting you up so I can stomp your ass out in public.
Elon Musk is so full of shit it hurts. Teslas are cool cars but the company itself is a cash burn.
When guys like us stop pretending this shit is cute just so we can have sex with these basic bitches, so never.
It was a blessing and a curse.