I think my neighbors are swingers, but I’m afraid to ask because it might just be Amway. PGP.

I had a nightmare that my company hired Terry Tate. PGP.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning, look at myself in the mirror and say, “As little as possible.” PGP.

I don’t consider myself a morning person, I’m more of a happy hour person.

Tore my meniscus playing softball. Doc either said, “You’re degenerating,” or “You’re a degenerate.” Either way, he’s right. PGP.

My biggest fear is ending up like my older coworkers.

Realizing you may have peaked in college.

Attempting to hole punch more pieces of paper than the hole puncher can handle now gives me an adrenaline rush. PGP.

Having no idea if your fart was loud because you’re wearing headphones. PGP.

Endorsing yourself when a coworker forgets to log off LinkedIn. PGP.