Sucks, man, but I personally wouldn’t want to get smelted if my coworker is a fuckup. In my industry on the otherhand, people are just as likely to fuck up stuff sober as not.
I’ve done the occasional work binge to get a major project ready for release. I’ve also worked weekends on my unapproved side projects to show to management which has had some success. In general though, you’re going to be more successful as somebody who just kills it during the 9-5 than as the martyr who visibly and vocally works more hours than everybody else. At the end of the day, it’s the product, not the effort, that matters to your superiors and peers.
I go out for lunch most days of the week. I totally agree it’s a waste of money, but I like the excuse to get out of the office for 20-30 minutes to go pick something up, plus waiting for microwave to free up in the office kitchen makes me want to blow my brains out. I definitely should start packing lunches more though, just need to get the will power gathered.
I’ve done a ton our tours, but my favorite tour was at Boulder Beer Company. They led probably 12 or so of us through the brewery, answered questions excellently, and at the end poured 6 or so full pitchers of beer for us to drink, free of charge. Highly recommend.
I recommend the dry ice bomb to rookies for slightly less dangerous explosions.
In high school, I also liked what we simply called “bottle bombs”. You cut open a shotgun shell and extract the powder (NOT THE LEAD SHOT, YOU IDIOT) from any old shotgun shell you have laying around. Find a dry, empty soda bottle, and awl or drill a whole in the center of the cap just big enough to fit a firecracker fuse. For the fuse, using something slow and reliable, NOT the twisted paper they put on Blackcats. Place a small piece of plastic wrap in the mouth of the bottle to hold the powder in place, and screw the cap back on. Light it and get away.
The pressure that builds up in the bottle makes a pretty loud sound when it bursts. If you didn’t follow my instructions to NOT use the lead shot, congrats, you just maimed everybody in the area.
I once had a recruiter cold call me at work (it was like 10 in the morning); I politely explained that I was busy at my current job and that now wasn’t a good time to talk. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I hung up and got back to doing my actual job. Crazy bitch left a VOICEMAIL calling me rude for hanging up on her.
My girlfriend bought some wormwood (we tried making bitters last year) and I think we have some vodka laying around, might need to see that this Malort business is about.
I declare the maximum number of allowances that make sense for me (2 I think?) So I never get a refund. This year I actually owe like 80 bucks because I got $300 for signing up for a Chase checking account and that’s considered taxable interest income. It may seem nice having that refund every April, but you might as well try to just save or invest it yourself rather than giving the government a loan.
You got to respect their commitment to external physical health while simultaneously abusing stimulants and engaging in risky behavior that will most assuredly result in them dying many years prior to the rest of us lazy-asses.
Sucks, man, but I personally wouldn’t want to get smelted if my coworker is a fuckup. In my industry on the otherhand, people are just as likely to fuck up stuff sober as not.
Stop saying “processed”. It’s losing it’s meaning.
I’d like to see how YOU act around Tammy.
I couldn’t get over him tipping shittily. It’s America and tipping is ingrained in our dining etiquette.
Do people really say “blow trees”?
I’ve seen Jason Isbell 3 times; fucking amazing shows. Sturgill is still on my bucket list though.
I’ve done the occasional work binge to get a major project ready for release. I’ve also worked weekends on my unapproved side projects to show to management which has had some success. In general though, you’re going to be more successful as somebody who just kills it during the 9-5 than as the martyr who visibly and vocally works more hours than everybody else. At the end of the day, it’s the product, not the effort, that matters to your superiors and peers.
This doesn’t sound any more pleasant than chugging a flask of bourbon in the bathroom, nor cheaper, and probably only quasi-legal.
I go out for lunch most days of the week. I totally agree it’s a waste of money, but I like the excuse to get out of the office for 20-30 minutes to go pick something up, plus waiting for microwave to free up in the office kitchen makes me want to blow my brains out. I definitely should start packing lunches more though, just need to get the will power gathered.
OH GODDAMIT
I’ve done a ton our tours, but my favorite tour was at Boulder Beer Company. They led probably 12 or so of us through the brewery, answered questions excellently, and at the end poured 6 or so full pitchers of beer for us to drink, free of charge. Highly recommend.
I turned 25 on a Monday and by the time I have a weekend birthday again I will be 30, so there’s that. Fuck off and enjoy it, Charlie!
I recommend the dry ice bomb to rookies for slightly less dangerous explosions.
In high school, I also liked what we simply called “bottle bombs”. You cut open a shotgun shell and extract the powder (NOT THE LEAD SHOT, YOU IDIOT) from any old shotgun shell you have laying around. Find a dry, empty soda bottle, and awl or drill a whole in the center of the cap just big enough to fit a firecracker fuse. For the fuse, using something slow and reliable, NOT the twisted paper they put on Blackcats. Place a small piece of plastic wrap in the mouth of the bottle to hold the powder in place, and screw the cap back on. Light it and get away.
The pressure that builds up in the bottle makes a pretty loud sound when it bursts. If you didn’t follow my instructions to NOT use the lead shot, congrats, you just maimed everybody in the area.
I once had a recruiter cold call me at work (it was like 10 in the morning); I politely explained that I was busy at my current job and that now wasn’t a good time to talk. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I hung up and got back to doing my actual job. Crazy bitch left a VOICEMAIL calling me rude for hanging up on her.
The other day I got his gem in my inbox.
Recruiting is fucking weird, Dave.
My girlfriend bought some wormwood (we tried making bitters last year) and I think we have some vodka laying around, might need to see that this Malort business is about.
“He was going to speak to people from the standpoint that he’s at rock bottom, and people shouldn’t be like him.” I think that one’s been done.
I declare the maximum number of allowances that make sense for me (2 I think?) So I never get a refund. This year I actually owe like 80 bucks because I got $300 for signing up for a Chase checking account and that’s considered taxable interest income. It may seem nice having that refund every April, but you might as well try to just save or invest it yourself rather than giving the government a loan.
*Hangs up phone*
Bill Murray is a living legend but Harold Ramis contributed just as much comedy and wit.
You got to respect their commitment to external physical health while simultaneously abusing stimulants and engaging in risky behavior that will most assuredly result in them dying many years prior to the rest of us lazy-asses.