Aspiring to be casually rich and office hot, while plugging away at an entry level job that promises a pension and good benefits because #compromise and idk maybe I’ll make enough to buy a fancy Japanese toilet.
I have a tendency to run away and/or move to foreign countries when life gets "too real" or I'm feeling restless. This has resulted in me being both single af and struggling to buy a studio apartment where my bed folds into a wall.
Champagne taste, sparkling water budget; so my 5 year plan is to marry money -and then ride out the alimony payments once he realizes what a nightmare I am.
I’ve been meaning to switch to a steamer so I’m gonna take this as an endorsement (although a very sad one). Dual purpose to kill bacteria around the house too…
I just don’t have the patience to hold the phone in an extended manner for more than 3 minutes to avoid double chin. Plus if I’m home there’s a 90% chance I’m either not wearing pants or a bra or both and I typically don’t like people enough to let them actually see what a lazy piece of shit I am.
I get this is satire and all but I’m insanely jealous that these are your requests. I’m also pretty jealous of your general reality, cause it’s SO much better than my current job. I’m also putting in my last day today so I should quit my bitching.
I’ll down vote myself for this but “middle class problems” is just basically the British version of “first world problems”. Middle class there really means more of an upper middle class/lower upperclass (basically anyone who shops at whole foods) than middle class in the blue collar sense.
I agree. My first “real job” outta college one of the people with pull in the company said she would show up early, leave late and advised us not to because her higher ups took it to mean that she wasn’t capable of finishing her tasks in the allotted time and took her staying late everyday as a signal that she wouldn’t be able to handle larger responsibilities I t he future. Obviously she changed shot around but warned us not to go down that path, extra unpaid hours shouldn’t be a habit.
Elle Woods was not under-educated or under-qualified. She hussled just like everyone else at her school but did so wearing pink; and became motherfucking validictorian of her Harvard Law class.
I’m female and I have a work wife, she’s loyal af and one of the only rational people in my office, plus also just like a super nice and amazing person. There’s some great guys in the office that are wonderful and work husband material but my work wife is the best out of everyone. Our generation by and large has accepted that love is love regardless of gender -it would be a double standard to not apply this to the same place we spend most of our waking hours. Plus again, she’s the best person to have on my team.
It’s vaguely poetic. Like a really bad haiku without actually following the rules of a haiku. Your job making you crazy enough to start writing in sentence fragments is the ultimate PGP.
My job requires standing for like 90% of my time which makes me a tired and lazy piece of shit after work, which is just salting my game.
It’s the fucking worst, it’s messed up my feet and some of my coworkers have gross spider veins on their legs because of it. Choosing a standing desk is choosing to be miserable and to look like a douchebag simultaneously. Also some new research said they’re at best minimally better for your health than a regular desk, or worse if you’re fat because of the weight and pressure put on your joints.
I feel like between standing desks, crossfit and being vegan our generation is just looking to be labeled as unique little douchebag snowflakes. I also feel like I am WAY to angry about such a trivial issue.
Can confirm. This entire article is basically catnip for chicks.
None of our money, all of our input and asserting control over a physical place… That’s the dream.
Advertise
Getting severance even though you planned to quit anyway PGPM
Please know I’m judging you as I type this from my 8 GB iPhone 4
I’ve been meaning to switch to a steamer so I’m gonna take this as an endorsement (although a very sad one). Dual purpose to kill bacteria around the house too…
I just don’t have the patience to hold the phone in an extended manner for more than 3 minutes to avoid double chin. Plus if I’m home there’s a 90% chance I’m either not wearing pants or a bra or both and I typically don’t like people enough to let them actually see what a lazy piece of shit I am.
I get this is satire and all but I’m insanely jealous that these are your requests. I’m also pretty jealous of your general reality, cause it’s SO much better than my current job. I’m also putting in my last day today so I should quit my bitching.
I’ll down vote myself for this but “middle class problems” is just basically the British version of “first world problems”. Middle class there really means more of an upper middle class/lower upperclass (basically anyone who shops at whole foods) than middle class in the blue collar sense.
I agree. My first “real job” outta college one of the people with pull in the company said she would show up early, leave late and advised us not to because her higher ups took it to mean that she wasn’t capable of finishing her tasks in the allotted time and took her staying late everyday as a signal that she wouldn’t be able to handle larger responsibilities I t he future. Obviously she changed shot around but warned us not to go down that path, extra unpaid hours shouldn’t be a habit.
I didn’t know a trash valet was even a thing until right now and suddenly it’s all I want.
Elle Woods was not under-educated or under-qualified. She hussled just like everyone else at her school but did so wearing pink; and became motherfucking validictorian of her Harvard Law class.
I’m female and I have a work wife, she’s loyal af and one of the only rational people in my office, plus also just like a super nice and amazing person. There’s some great guys in the office that are wonderful and work husband material but my work wife is the best out of everyone. Our generation by and large has accepted that love is love regardless of gender -it would be a double standard to not apply this to the same place we spend most of our waking hours. Plus again, she’s the best person to have on my team.
Except girl wouldn’t get rescue dogs.
Humble-brag that you own a house
It’s vaguely poetic. Like a really bad haiku without actually following the rules of a haiku. Your job making you crazy enough to start writing in sentence fragments is the ultimate PGP.
Username checks out
My job requires standing for like 90% of my time which makes me a tired and lazy piece of shit after work, which is just salting my game.
It’s the fucking worst, it’s messed up my feet and some of my coworkers have gross spider veins on their legs because of it. Choosing a standing desk is choosing to be miserable and to look like a douchebag simultaneously. Also some new research said they’re at best minimally better for your health than a regular desk, or worse if you’re fat because of the weight and pressure put on your joints.
I feel like between standing desks, crossfit and being vegan our generation is just looking to be labeled as unique little douchebag snowflakes. I also feel like I am WAY to angry about such a trivial issue.
Can confirm. This entire article is basically catnip for chicks.
None of our money, all of our input and asserting control over a physical place… That’s the dream.
Price: lowest to highest. PGP
Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are an unbeatable combination.
Fuck LAX
I feel like they’re just pandering to millennial stereotypes now, and I also feel like I’m gonna be first in line.