My boss brought in two new smoking hot marketing reps. He walked right by me with them and didn’t introduce me. PGP.

Lying that you’re younger to girls at the bar, and lying that you’re older at client meetings. PGP.

Going from “it’s not alcoholism until you graduate” to “it’s not alcoholism until you’re married.” PGP.

I couldn’t name a single song in the Top 40, but I can tell you every song that’s on “The River” by Bruce Springsteen. PGP.

Just accepted a much better, higher-paying job. It doesn’t start for 6 more weeks. PGP.

RSVPing for two with no idea who the other person will be. PGP.

Just had to fire the intern. Back to the bottom of the totem pole. PGP.

The most rebellious thing I have done lately was change my company computer’s wallpaper. PGP.

Dropped my work iPhone on my personal iPhone. I now have two broken iPhones. PGP.

I was so excited about getting this job. Now I’m only excited for lunch. PGP.