My boss just called me his “technology guy” because I knew how to insert a picture into powerpoint.

My boss has AskJeeves as his homepage. PGP

Frantically pressing the close door button in the elevator at the sound of approaching footsteps. PGP.

1: “How bout that rain last night?” 2: “Yeah, we need it, though.” PGP.

I’m so bored, I just watched a snapchat story about Toronto. PGP

Found out my old middle school bully works at Starbucks. I go there twice a week in a suit. PGP

Finally have three years of work under my belt, so I can now apply for other entry level jobs that required 3-5 years of experience. PGP.

Seeing something NSFW online and immediately going to your phone to look at it. PGP.

Fruit is fucking expensive. PGP.

I still have an iPhone 4. PGP.