Convinced my garbage man only waves in the morning, because he knows he has better benefits than I do. PGP.

There is a cute girl that sits across from me at work. I have no idea how to handle this situation. PGP.

I had a panicked dream that I couldn’t find parking, missed my business flight, and didn’t have money for a flight change at the airport. I don’t even travel for work. PGP.

I hate not being able to afford something far more than I would enjoy owning it. PGP.

My New Year’s resolution is the same as it was sophomore year in college: To stop pissing myself while blacked out. PGP.

Having to choose between 20 minutes more sleep or rubbing one out before work. PGP.