Elk season if fast approaching so I’ll be going target practice with grandpas old 7mm Rem Magnum tonight, then scouting my hunting unit all weekend. I bought foam seating pads to make sitting down and glassing hillsides all day more comfortable on my bum.
Lets put misspelled name labels on a bunch of Molotov Cocktails and huck them through a few Starbucks storefront windows. We’ll see how they like a taste of their own medicine.
Got a surprise party for a friends dirty 30th tonight. Tomorrow is my first bird hunting trip in the Uinta Mountains, going to chase some ptarmigan and grouse with a few new buddies. We connected on a Facebook group and haven’t met face to face yet which is a little sketchy, but at least we’ll all have shotguns so nobody has the upper hand.
Maybe do some squats in the bathroom to get your heart rate up? Or just keep some carpet slippers from Goodwill at your desk, that seems like something you’d wear in public
I’ve never been a zip-up hoodie guy for personal wear, but there are few things sexier than a girl wearing an oversized zip-up hoodie with a tasteful amount of cleavage peeking out of the unzipped half
“You getting into anything fun this weekend?”
I’m actually going to stay at home to masturbate violently and practice my elk bugles between college football games, how about yourself?
My drunk self is the kleptomaniac of which you speak. Shot glasses, street signs/cones, flasks and beer bongs at house parties, those click-counter things that bouncers use to keep track of how many people come into a bar, etc. In college I stole a fire hydrant that was shut off and unbolted while it awaited maintenance. It was a great conversation piece in our apartment.
You just created a cloud of pheromones that’ll be wafting off your chiseled body all day after getting a skin-splitting pump. They can smell it and you’ll be irresistible.
Advertise
Elk season if fast approaching so I’ll be going target practice with grandpas old 7mm Rem Magnum tonight, then scouting my hunting unit all weekend. I bought foam seating pads to make sitting down and glassing hillsides all day more comfortable on my bum.
Respect the slip-on Vans shoutout but where are the high tops?
Lets put misspelled name labels on a bunch of Molotov Cocktails and huck them through a few Starbucks storefront windows. We’ll see how they like a taste of their own medicine.
Whole milk and squats, baby
I like that. Imma steal that name.
Got a surprise party for a friends dirty 30th tonight. Tomorrow is my first bird hunting trip in the Uinta Mountains, going to chase some ptarmigan and grouse with a few new buddies. We connected on a Facebook group and haven’t met face to face yet which is a little sketchy, but at least we’ll all have shotguns so nobody has the upper hand.
BOOOOOOOOOOM MOTHERFUCKER
Maybe do some squats in the bathroom to get your heart rate up? Or just keep some carpet slippers from Goodwill at your desk, that seems like something you’d wear in public
If you don’t grunt like a powerlifter when you get off the couch, you’re disappointing your ancestors
Good use of wonky
A coozie is just a beer condom, no wonder he hates them
So, Serena, where are you from?
I’ve never been a zip-up hoodie guy for personal wear, but there are few things sexier than a girl wearing an oversized zip-up hoodie with a tasteful amount of cleavage peeking out of the unzipped half
Such a good take that I might throw you on that gurney and mount you like a lion
“You getting into anything fun this weekend?”
I’m actually going to stay at home to masturbate violently and practice my elk bugles between college football games, how about yourself?
Steal a car. Or a bridesmaid.
My drunk self is the kleptomaniac of which you speak. Shot glasses, street signs/cones, flasks and beer bongs at house parties, those click-counter things that bouncers use to keep track of how many people come into a bar, etc. In college I stole a fire hydrant that was shut off and unbolted while it awaited maintenance. It was a great conversation piece in our apartment.
You just created a cloud of pheromones that’ll be wafting off your chiseled body all day after getting a skin-splitting pump. They can smell it and you’ll be irresistible.
I don’t wanna beat them, I want to embarrass them.
My offspring will worship the dark lord Cthulhu. Non negotiable.