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Hello my children. I’m back. Sometimes you have to take a couple months off to care of real life things and get your shit together. Maybe I’ll write a different article on that soon.
Speaking of getting your shit together, my having-shit-together friends have turned me on to something they incorporate into their daily rituals that I wanted to explore with you all today. It’s a little something I like to call The Pre-Work Workout, or PWW (“pee-dub-dub”) for short.
These crazy bastards actually wake up hours before work to go jog and lift weights like they’re training for war. One of my friends actually wakes up at like 4 a.m. because he lifts for 2 hours minimum at a time. Either he’s my most disciplined friend or he’s the one killing all of the cats in my neighborhood. Also if anyone sees my cat let me know, he’s been missing for a few weeks now.
Apart from the obvious shit sandwich that is waking up at 4 in the morning, I thought of some actual benefits that could help you ~*LiVe yOur bESt LiFe*~. So strap in because here comes a list:
I don’t know about you, but a big reason I don’t like to work out is FOMO. Why would I go to the gym when I might be missing out on a life-changing happy hour? So flip the script. Disrupt. What better things are there to do at 5 in the morning? Wake up before the sun and you won’t be missing out on anything. Besides the perfect opportunity to off some neighborhood cats (my cat’s an orange tabby and I’m actually very concerned).
I personally hate mornings. I’m very grumpy. If a tiny old lady is walking slowly in front of me on the sidewalk, I have no problem hip checking her at full speed harder than Zdeno Chara. I wouldn’t think twice about making Gladys go horizontal midair. But that’s because I’m a terrible person in the mornings. So if I had a controlled environment to pump out my demons in, I wouldn’t need any pre-workout or motivation to get a good pump.
Part of the reason I’m a grumpy Guss in the mornings is because I’m usually late to work. Why am I late? Because I stay up really late watching series like Mindhunter because “moderation” isn’t a word that exists for me (wow but I really recommend Mindhunter if you haven’t seen it). If the PWW was the first thing I had to crank out every morning, I would be less inclined to torture myself with sleep depravation. You know the Sunday Scaries? I get the Sunday Scaries every weeknight. But if I had to wake up at 5-6 a.m. every day, it would kind of force me to to a normal and responsible adult and go to sleep at a normal hour.
The easiest excuse I have now to not workout is that I’m too tired. Why would you want to go through hours of grueling physical activity after sitting at a desk for 1/3 of your day grinding out TPS reports and getting passive aggressive emails fro clients? So workout right after you wake up. Also apparently a thing called “runner’s high” exists? Like you work out and something called Endorphins get released and it’s like a natural cocaine. This concept is crazy to me. But until your addy guy get his hands on endorphins in pill form, you’re gonna have to sweat it out.
Start Your Day Off With A Victory
Let’s be real for a sec. You know you’re not going to do shit at work all day. Why not start off your day by actually feeling accomplished? There was an Admiral named William H. McRaven who gave the Commencement Address at my alma mater University of Texas at Austin (hook ‘em) in 2014, and the video went viral. Basically the TL;DR is like, make your bed in the morning so you start off with a win and it mindfucks you into having a great day. I really butchered that but you should watch the video for yourself if you like to get motivated. But yeah the PWW is the same thing! Condition yourself and it becomes automatic. Ask Pavlov’s dogs.
Part of me wants to grow up and become a creature of habit and get a routine going, which the PWW would definitely help implement. Also I’m not really sure how popular the PWW is. Is this already an established thing and I’m just late to the game? Or am I trailblazing here? Either way, the PWW is definitely a win-win for your adult life..