Giving blood at the company blood drive, not to save lives but to get out of work and lay down for an hour. PGP.

People my age are buying houses, and I’m still trying to budget out groceries. PGP.

Using your current employer’s printer and scanner to send out your signed offer letter. PGP.

Thought I was getting yelled at via email because it was in all caps. Turns out my coworker is just a moron. PGP.

Masturbating out of boredom. PGP.

Still taking laundry home for “Easter break.” PGP.

No one has any idea what I do for a living, and they don’t understand when I tell them, so now I just tell people I’m an accountant and let them think whatever they want. PGP.

My coworkers put a fart machine in my office and then sent the hot intern in to see me for April Fools’ Day. PGP.

I wouldn’t be all that upset if I was fired from my reasonably well-paying job. PGP.

Turning into the sad soul who sends work emails at 9 p.m.